Why Can't I Do Normal Memes? Boop The Floof

It started off as a normal meme.

That cute little audio clip originally created by Matt Cox (@findmattcox on TikTok) while my phone camera sneaks up on Meredith, our lovely cat.

 But I'm not a normal person.

And our pets aren't normal either.

How could they be with so many skeletons in and out of our closets?

Pets of a horror writer aren't normal pets, are they?

How To Annoy a Science-Fiction Nerd Today

It is May the 4th! Star Wars day!

May the 4th be with you!

Of course, if you like to have a little fun, either in an attempt to annoy science-fiction nerds or perhaps just to throw a little confusion into the mix, you can share one of the many silly memes that involve mixing memes or confusing popular quotes from a variety of sources. And, of course, providing fictional attribution at the same time.

Here's one I was toying with earlier today.

 

If I counted correctly, I think this visual meme refers to thirteen different movies or television shows. I suppose I could have tried to add more, but I was already getting dizzy. Can you name the thirteen that I referenced?

Silly Christmas Lyric Meme: Twas The Night Before Christmas

Years ago I started a silly Christmas lyric meme where I take a song we hear countless times during the holiday season and discuss something that confuses me about it or is worth exploring if merely for the humour . . . (feel free to play along and share your own silly thoughts about Christmas lyrics on your own blog)

I'm going to slightly break with tradition this time around and go with a poem rather than a song. But Clement C. Moore's "Twas the Night Before Christmas" (AKA "A Visit from St. Nicholas"). Although this poem HAS been set to music many times over the years.



The Rules: Pick a Christmas lyric that inspires silly thought and discuss it. Then either tag people or simply invite your readers to chime in with their own silliness.

Feel free to use the "Cousin Eddie" image by copying the following code and replacing the '(' and ')' with '<' and '>' :

(a href="http://markleslie.blogspot.com/2006/12/mark-leslies-silly-christmas-lyric.html")(img src="http://static.flickr.com/136/321235351_90abf16624_m.jpg" alt="Mark Leslie's Silly Christmas Lyric meme" /)


The Song: Twas the Night Before Christmas, attributed to Clement C. Moore.

Lyrics in Question: "When what to my wondering eyes did appear, but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer with a little old driver..." and others, to be mentioned.

The Comment: I propose that the popular interpretation of this poem is missing out on a simple fact. Santa isn't a human-sized man at all, but, in fact, a tiny elf.

That could certainly explain how he can slip down the chimney without issue.

Let's look at the line. One assumes that the tiny sleigh and reideer are because of the distance Sanata appears up in the sky. But nowhere does Moore mention that Santa is really high or far away. He simply calls the sleigh miniature, and the reindeer tiny and the driver "little" and "old."

Later, the narrator describes hearing on the roof the "prancing and pawing of each little hoof."

And, when Santa arrives, he is described with a droll little mouth and a little round belly. Moore even comes right out and says: "He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf."

Then, he describes how Santa stands laying his finger on the side of his nose and then rising up the chimney. There is no description of crouching or trying to jam his human sized body into the fireplace. It's a quick and easy movement; easy, because he's elf-sized and not human-sized.


I still love this poem and have enjoyed reading it to my son every year. And I'm not at all put off by the fact that Santa is a tiny little elf rather than a human sized coke-drinking overweight man. Santa is still Santa, after all.


[To read my previous Silly Christmas Lyric commentary, check out 2012 (Santa Claus is Coming to Town) 2011 (Frosty the Snowman), 2010 (Here Comes Santa Claus) 2009 (I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus), 2008 (Silent Night), 2007 (Silver Bells) and the original 2006 (The Christmas Song)]

Book Meme

Chele Cooke, the brilliant sci-fi and fantasy author of such books as Dead and Buryd and Fight or Flight in the "Out of Orbit" series, recently followed this meme talking about her serialized novel that she's releasing on Wattpad called Teeth. (Check out Chele's blog post in this meme)

Chele tagged me in her meme, suggesting I talk about my novel I, Death (coming in print and eBook in October, but I am releasing it in serialized fashion on Wattpad throughout the summer) 

[A warning that I, Death contains graphic horror and depictions of adult sexual situations - this is definitely not a story for those easily offended]

1. When and where is the story set?

The story opens in the small mid-Northern town of Levack as well as the nearby city of Sudbury, in Ontario, Canada. The characters migrate four hours south to the city of Toronto towards the end of the book.

While not necessarily a part of the setting, the first 70% of the novel is written on a blog by the main character and that part of the story is told entirely from his POV along with interjections from others in the blogging community. (But I often do think that part of the "setting" has to do with the online tools by which Peter is sharing his story)

2. What can you say about the main characters?

Peter O'Mallick, the novel's main character, is an angst-filled seventeen year old who has just been dumped by his longtime girlfriend Sarah. He begins blogging about the turmoil faced with losing her while also dealing with the belief that he was born with some terrible death curse that has resulted in so many of his friends dying or suffering horrible fates.

One of the supporting characters, a supply teacher by the name of Mr. Robertson (called "Robbie" by his students), was one of my favourite characters to write, as he became a composite of every single amazing teacher I'd every had, as well as some traits that I liberated from the character of John Keating played by Robin Williams in the movie Dead Poets Society.

The "bad guy" is a drug lord by the name of Bryan Brecht, who discovers Peter's blog, understands that the kid isn't just paranoid, but actually has some sort of death curse, and seeks to find a way to use the kid's power to further rise in the ranks of becoming a kingpin of the drug world.

3. What is the main conflict?

There are two main conflicts in the novel -

The main underlying conflict is internal and has to do with Peter's sense of loss and grief and frustration with the death curse that he believes is responsible for losing everyone from his parents and best friends to the loss of his girlfriend Sarah (who is very much alive, but who has cut herself off from his life). I tried to adapt the universal angst and frustration that are felt during the teenage years related to acceptance, friendship, love and loss with the additional element of a dark undertone of death. Dealing with his own feelings and his reaction to the terrors that surround him are a good part of the conflict Peter faces. Throughout the loss and destruction of his world, his desire to reunite with Sarah remains a constant thread. But he knows he can't be close to her or else she, too might succumb to the curse.

The second conflict, the main external one is related to Brecht's desire to infiltrate and manipulate Peter in order to use him and his death curse for the benefit of his position in the drug world. He plays upon Peter's continued loss of a fatherly and supportive figure and his desire to have a strong and important mentor.

The Infectious Phase

I'm nominating the following writers (all peeps with serialized books on Wattpad that you can and SHOULD check out) to continue this meme . . .

1) Edward Willett, author of Andy Nebula: Interstellar Rock Star

2)  Robert S. Wilson, author of Shining in Crimson

3) Meredith Rose, author of Chains of Silver

Silly Christmas Lyric Meme: Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

Half a dozen years ago I started a silly Christmas lyric meme where I take a song we hear countless times during the holiday season and discuss something that confuses me about it or is worth exploring if merely for the humour . . . (feel free to play along and share your own silly thoughts about Christmas lyrics on your own blog)

The Rules: Pick a Christmas lyric that inspires silly thought and discuss it. Then either tag people or simply invite your readers to chime in with their own silliness.

Feel free to use the "Cousin Eddie" image by copying the following code and replacing the '(' and ')' with '<' and '>' :

(a href="http://markleslie.blogspot.com/2006/12/mark-leslies-silly-christmas-lyric.html")(img src="http://static.flickr.com/136/321235351_90abf16624_m.jpg" alt="Mark Leslie's Silly Christmas Lyric meme" /)



The Song: Santa Claus is Coming to Town (Sometimes written as "Comin'" rather than "Coming.") Written by John Frederick Coots and Haven Gillespie , first sung on Eddie Cantor's radio show in November 1934 and recorded by such artists as Tom Stacks, Tommy Dorsey and Bruce Springsteen.


Lyrics in Question: "You better watch out! You better not cry! You better not pout - I'm telling you why: Santa Claus is coming to town."  and  "He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake."

The Comment: The song opens with "you better watch out!" - isn't that enough to immediately put a person on the edge of their seat, not to mention a child who might already be a little bit concerned that a fat stranger in a red suit is going to spend a single night performing a series of benevolent home invasions completely undetected while everybody is sleeping.

Yes, I know he's an altruistic jolly old elf of a man. But it's got to be a little bit disconcerting to consider that no matter how securely you lock your home up, this guy will find a way in - even if there isn't a fireplace to sneak in through.

But not only that -- he's watching you, monitoring you, perhaps even stalking your activities at all times. And he goes completely undetected - like a Facebook lurker who monitors your every activity yet never comments or posts, not even indicating their presence with a simple click of that oh so alluring "Like" button.  It doesn't matter if you're awake or sleeping, the man has his eye on you.  Not sure about you, but I just got a "Big Brother" kind of shudder thinking about that.

I do remember, even when I was a child and was singing this song, feeling that odd sensation of wondering how this guy could possibly have eyes on all of us. Is he some middle-aged guy with no job living in his parents basement and spending all day on the internet monitoring everyone using millions of hidden nanny cams, his fingers permanently stained from the steady diet of Doritos and Cheetos? (That could explain why he's so large) No, he's more likely a hermit who does live at the North Pole with an army of elves and they use some sort of omnipotence to monitor the world's children, keeping top secret lists of anything you do that might taint your record and reduce your chances to get that gift you were really hoping for.

Seriously -- it's a wonder kids can even sleep after hearing this song. I still have trouble sleeping, wondering if Santa still monitors everyone, and not just the children.  (Admittedly, my stocking is always full, so it means I must have done more good than bad each year -- [huge sigh of relief])



What about you? Are you with me on just how scary this song might be for kids? Perhaps it's another song that has always bothered you. Steal this idea for your own blog or share your thoughts in a comment here. Have fun, be goofy. Go ahead, it's okay. But remember, Santa IS watching you . . .

[To read my previous Silly Christmas Lyric commentary, check out 2011 (Frosty the Snowman), 2010 (Here Comes Santa Claus) 2009 (I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus), 2008 (Silent Night), 2007 (Silver Bells) and the original 2006 (The Christmas Song)]

Silly Christmas Lyric Meme: Frosty The Snowman

Back in 2006 I started a silly Christmas lyric meme where I take a song we hear countless times during the holiday season and discuss something that confuses me about it or is worth exploring if merely for the humour . . . (feel free to play along and share your own silly thoughts about Christmas lyrics on your own blog)

The Rules: Pick a Christmas lyric that inspires silly thought and discuss it. Then either tag people or simply invite your readers to chime in with their own silliness.

Feel free to use the "Cousin Eddie" image by copying the following code and replacing the '(' and ')' with '<' and '>' :

(a href="http://markleslie.blogspot.com/2006/12/mark-leslies-silly-christmas-lyric.html")(img src="http://static.flickr.com/136/321235351_90abf16624_m.jpg" alt="Mark Leslie's Silly Christmas Lyric meme" /)



The Song: Frosty the Snowman. Written by Walter "Jack" Rollins and Steve Nelson and first recorded by Gene Autry in 1950. (Original title "Frosty the Snow Man")


Lyrics in Question: "He led them down the streets of town right to the traffic cop. He only paused a moment when he heard him holler "Stop!"

The Comment:  Before I dive into the lyrics I must confess that the song has always confused me. I've often questioned why Frosty would be a jolly, happy soul. I mean, sure, if the hat had some magic in it and brought Frosty to life, what sort of life would it really be? I explored that in a dark humour story I published a long time ago called "That Old Silk Hat They Found" - the story looks at what "life" might really be like for poor Frosty . . . born to the world with no legs to romp around on and feeble twigs for arms . . . . you can listen to the story for free via a podcast or even read the ebook version in my new ebook Snowman Shivers, which contains two of my snowman horror stories. Available on Amazon and Smashwords.

But enough of the self-promotion . . . on to my "over the top" analysis of the lyrics.

I think that there's evidence Frosty is a delinquent and a bad influence. After all, the moment he is created he goes thumping around over the hills of snow - one might imagine just how wreckless he is being, the kids following him as if he's some sort of Pied Piper figure, likely mimicking him in his wanton destructive behaviour instead of spending time with their family or perhaps even studying quietly, reading, volunteering at a soup kitchen or attending mass.

Frosty even admits that he's here for a good time, not a long time. 

"Let's run and we'll have some fun," he says. "Before I melt away."

In the manner of bad influence rock stars, his melting away is an obvious ode to the concept of it being better to burn out than to rust. It's all about short-term living big.

He obviously won't have to own up to the consequences of his inhibitions and can run wild, leaving the children to clean up the mess he leaves behind as he runs here and there, all around the square laughing as the children try to chase him down.

His biggest indiscretion, of course, is the example he sets for the kids when he disobeys the traffic cop in the song. Instead of following the police officer's orders, Frosty merely pauses a moment, then, obviously, continues his horseplay, showing the kids that it's okay to run wild and carefree, paying no attention to any sort of law and order.

Of course, the clincher is that, at the end of the song, you can imagine him saying, in his best Arnold Schwarzenegger voice, the line made famous in the original Terminator movie:  "I'll be back! (again some day")

I say we should ban this song because of the terrible example it sets for kids.

What about you? Are you with me on just how nasty and terrible an influence Frosty can be on the kids? Perhaps it's another song. Steal this idea for your own blog or share your thoughts in a comment here. Have fun, be goofy. Go ahead, it's okay. Frosty would want you to do so . . .

[To read my previous Silly Christmas Lyric commentary, check out 2010 (Here Comes Santa Claus) 2009 (I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus), 2008 (Silent Night), 2007 (Silver Bells) and the original 2006 (The Christmas Song)]

Silly Christmas Lyric Meme: Here Comes Santa Claus

In 2006 I started a silly Christmas lyric meme where I take a song we hear countless times and point out a part of it that makes we wonder, confuses me or is worth exploring if merely for the humour of it . . . (feel free to play along and share your own silly thoughts about Christmas lyrics on your own blog)

The Rules: Pick a Christmas lyric that inspires silly thought and discuss it. Then either tag people or simply invite your readers to chime in with their own silliness.

Feel free to use the "Cousin Eddie" image by copying the following code and replacing the '(' and ')' with '<' and '>' :

(a href="http://markleslie.blogspot.com/2006/12/mark-leslies-silly-christmas-lyric.html")(img src="http://static.flickr.com/136/321235351_90abf16624_m.jpg" alt="Mark Leslie's Silly Christmas Lyric meme" /)


 
The Song: Here Comes Santa Claus. Originally written by Gene Autry (1907-1998) and Oakley Haldeman (1909-1986) and first recorded by Gene Autry in 1947.

Lyrics In Question: "So jump in bed and cover your head 'cause Santa Claus comes tonight."

The Comment:  Before I dig into the lyrics I should mention that I've long been interested in the juxtaposition between the religious and the fantastical elements of Christmas in this song.  It mentions peace on earth coming to all if you just follow the light, hanging your stockings and saying your prayers, and Santa knowing that we're all God's children.  While there are Christmas songs that either focus on Santa or carols that focus on the birth of Jesus and religious origins of Christmas, it's rare for a song to do both. This one interestingly does just that.

But let's get down to the silly lyrical analysis. 

Given today's over-protective society and the fact that we can't trust people to be smart enough to make their own decisions and not do something stupid, I'm wondering when parent groups or some other organization seeking to make the world a better place might attempt to ban this song.

"Why?" you ask. (And before you attempt to guess, no it's not religious fanatics upset about Santa getting in the way of the real meaning of Christmas, nor non-religious fanatics pissed that God, peace and prayers are mentioned in a fun Santa song)

Well, isn't the reason obvious? I can already imagine people shouting out that his song can lead to needless injuries and mass suffication of children all over the world.

After all, jumping in bed is a frowned-upon activity that can lead to bruises and broken bones.  And if you were to cover your head with your blankets and sheets you might run out of oxygen in the night while sleeping. And that can be dangerous.

Thus, this song, in the minds of certain public interest groups, is a danger to society, should be removed from rotation in radio play (yes, even the cute Elvis version of the song), and in it's place public service announcements should remind children that while it's good to be asleep when Santa comes, there is no need to "jump in bed" (which can lead to serious injury) and "cover your head" (because that, of course, can lead to suffication)

So far, the song isn't banned and can still be heard on radio stations far and wide. So enjoy it for now, because you never know when someone might take offense to the inherint dangers in the song and attempt to save us all from having to be exposed to the dangerous instructions within.

What about you? Does this song inspire silly thoughts? Perhaps it's another song. Steal this idea for your own blog or share your thoughts in a comment here.

[To read my previous Silly Christmas Lyric commentary, check out 2009 (I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus), 2008 (Silent Night), 2007 (Silver Bells) and the original 2006 (The Christmas Song)]

Silly Christmas Lyric Meme: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

A few years ago I started a silly Christmas lyric meme where I take a song that we hear countless times during the Christmas season and point out a part of it that makes we wonder, confuses me or is worth exploring if merely for the humour of it . . . (feel free to play along and share your own silly thoughts about Christmas lyrics on your own blog)

The Rules: Pick a Christmas lyric that you've always had a question about and discuss it. Then either tag one or more people or either tag nobody and invite your readers to tag themselves and enjoy discussing the subject on their own.

Feel free to use the "Cousin Eddie" image by copying the following code and replacing the '(' and ')' with '<' and '>' :

(a href="http://markleslie.blogspot.com/2006/12/mark-leslies-silly-christmas-lyric.html")(img src="http://static.flickr.com/136/321235351_90abf16624_m.jpg" alt="Mark Leslie's Silly Christmas Lyric meme" /)




The Song: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus. Originally written by Tommie Connor - (1904-1993) and first recorded by Jimmy Boyd (1939-2009) in 1952.

Lyrics In Question: "Oh what a laugh it would have been if Daddy had only seen Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night."

The Comment: I get it. It's a cute song. But not only has it always disturbed me, but it's evidence of something that can easily happy when an adult writer tries to write from a child's point of view -- they can't divorce themselves far enough away from their adult POV and experience, and don't properly capture the true innocence of a child's POV.

The problem, to me, is that the song relies on an adult point of view in order for it to be cute and funny. From a child's point of view I can't find it anything but utterly disturbing.

First of all, when I was a child and heard this song, I found it rather confusing. Why, if a child snuck downstairs in the middle of the night and saw his or her Mommy kissing a stranger in their living room would they find it cute? Is Mommy cheating on Daddy? Why is a child singing about it? What the hell is so funny about that?

Worse, of course, is that it's not entirely a stranger. No, it's not just the mailman, or the pool boy, or some other young hunk who Mommy might be having a tryst with, but it's one of the most trusted adult figures in a child's universe: Santa Claus. The ultimate trustworthy, lovable, generous and kind adult in a child's mind. I mean, one hardly ever threatens a child with the fact that Mommy or Daddy know they're misbehaving -- but threaten with a quick call to Santa and the child's particular flavour of unwanted behaviour often unsours rather quickly.

So how disturbing, then, to discover one of your parents cheating on the other by kissing Santa Claus. It's like a double-betrayal. How in the hell can a child find that cute? And how would a child think it would have been a laugh if Daddy saw this? (Unless, of course, Mommy and Daddy are happily separated and honestly enjoy seeing the other person happy; or perhaps they have some sort of completely open marriage, and it's okay for this kind of thing to happen. But still, not in front of the kids)

Again, the cuteness of the song comes from realizing that the Santa in the song isn't the real Santa, but, in fact, Daddy dressed up as Santa. So, for a child to actually GET this song they have to have a completely different understanding of Christmas than most young children usually have. It's always a bittersweet thing when children get to that age where the magic of Christmas changes (Hopefully, it changes from the magic of believing in the goodness of a jolly old elf in a red suit to believing in the inherent goodness within all of us and doing one's best to spread peace, love and joy) But I mean, WOW -- what a terrible way for the magical childhood fantasy to come crashing down.

I suppose one of the ways to monitor which particular magic of Christmas a child believes in is to gage their reaction to this song. If they GET IT, then they've lost something they'll never get back. If they don't get it, you can smile and hope that it'll be a long time before they get it and that hopefully the concept of the song doesn't disturb them too much in the meantime.

What about you? Does this song disturb you too? Or perhaps it's another song.

[To read my previous Silly Christmas Lyric commentary, check out 2008 (Silent Night), 2007 (Silver Bells) and the original 2006 (The Christmas Song)]

Silly Christmas Lyric Meme: Silent Night

A couple of years ago I started a silly Christmas lyric meme where I take a song that we hear countless times during the Christmas season and point out a part of it that makes we wonder, confuses me or is worth exploring if merely for the humour of it . . . (feel free to play along and share your own silly thoughts about Christmas lyrics on your own blog)

The Rules: Pick a Christmas lyric that you've always had a question about and discuss it. Then either tag one or more people or either tag nobody and invite your readers to tag themselves and enjoy discussing the subject on their own.

Feel free to use the "Cousin Eddie" image by copying the following code and replacing the '(' and ')' with '<' and '>' :

(a href="http://markleslie.blogspot.com/2006/12/mark-leslies-silly-christmas-lyric.html")(img src="http://static.flickr.com/136/321235351_90abf16624_m.jpg" alt="Mark Leslie's Silly Christmas Lyric meme" /)


The Song: Silent Night (originally written in German as Stille Nacht by the Austrian priest Father Josef Mohr and composed by Franz Xaver Gruber. In 1863, John Freeman Young translated it into the English version sung today)

Lyrics In Question: "Holy infant so tender and mild."

The Comment: First of all, I find this song, overall, to be a peaceful song inspiring reflection. The melody is soothing and sometimes when performed it gives me an overall sense of calm and belief that all is right with the world.

And then there's the fact of what this simple line stirs up, thanks to Francine mentioning it the other night. I understand what "tender and mild" is supposed to convey. But it can come across as if one is trying to describe a pot roast.

Q: "How do you find the pot roast?"

A: "It's absolutely delicious. It's so tender."

Q: "You don't find the seasoning too overpowering?"

A: "Not at all. It's quite mild. This roast is so perfectly tender and mild."

Q: "So you find the meal quite satisfying?"

A: "Definitely. After such a fine meal I'm going to sleep in heavenly peace."

Q: "Sleep in heavenly peace?"

A: "Exactly."


I know, I know, I've likely offended a whole group of people, particularly people from my own faith. But ever since Fran mentioned the "tender and mild" thing, I can't help thinking about how while it does describe an infant slumbering so wonderfully, it also stirs up culinary references. And it leads perfectly to a Catholic ritual which kind of ties in and which I have actually used in a horror story I wrote called "From Out of the Night" which was originally published in 1997 then reprinted in my collection One Hand Screaming in 2004.

The Blessed Sacrament (or Holy Communion) commemorates the final meal that Jesus shared with his disciples before being crucified. He gave them bread and wine and said to it was his body and blood and they should eat it in remembrance of him. I understand the sacrament, but, stepping back and looking at it perhaps from an "outsider's" view, it seems an awful lot like a type of cannibalism of our savior. That's the element I refer to in "From Out of the Night" - a horror story in which I have a paranoid protagonist believing that the Catholics next door are cannibals who consume their savior as part of their ritual. I was tempted to title this post: "Cannibalistic Christmas" but might just save that for another dark humour horror story.

If you're curious to read my previous Christmas Lyric memes (likely the less offensive ones because in them I don't toy around with anyone's faith), here are links to the original 2006 (The Christmas Song) and the 2007 (Silver Bells) posts.

And, of course, please feel free to play along yourself and let me know you've done so by leaving a comment here.

7 Things Tag

Imp recently tagged me with a meme in which I have to tell 7 things about myself that I haven't talked about before on my blog. That's going to be tough since I ramble on endlessly about almost everything and regularly repeat myself.

But I'll give it a shot:

1. (And I'm stealing this one from Imp because it's pretty much true for me, too) I used to be terrified of the dentist, but now I quite enjoy trips to the dentist. Okay, I'm stretching the truth. I used to be terrified of the dentist, but now I'm only mildly anxious when I visit. (Oh crap, I think I already blogged about my fear of the dentist - dang, strike one)

2. When I was young, I hated using out houses so much that when we went camping, I would go days without actually having a bowel movement. (Yes, welcome to Mark Leslie's blog where we talk about such high brow subjects as bowel movements)

3. Another thing about when I was young is that I used to think that the smoke stack in Sudbury was actually a cloud making machine. (Oh man, I think I already included that in the 101 things about me -- still unfinished, BTW -- as well as another blog post about Sudbury's largest erection. Sigh. Strike two)

4. Misheard lyrics aren't so common now that you can easily look them up on the internet, but despite being a huge fan of Phil Collins and thinking I knew the words to all his songs, I used to think that when he was singing the words "Oh Lord" in the song "In The Air Tonight" that he was singing the words "hold on."

5. Speaking of lyrics, I never misheard the Jimi Hendrix song "Purple Rain" to have the words "excuse me while I kiss this guy" which was a common mis-hearing of the song. I always knew he was kissing the sky. (Of course, I didn't realize it was drug talk and when I heard the song I tried to imagine him actually puckering up and kissing clouds and things -- or maybe I imagined him standing on tippy toes and trying to kiss that cool narrow blue strip of "sky" that kids often put at the very top of their drawings.)

6. I'm still deathly afraid of the monster under my bed. In fact yesterday evening when Alexander came running upstairs, terrified of the noise the furnace had made when it turned on, I was a little chilled to go down there myself. Stop laughing; I can't help it if I'm a big chicken. (Oh, what's that you say? I've already blogged about the monster under my bed? Dang, dang, dang. I guess that's strike three.

Strike three? I'm out, and I didn't even get to finish my list. Sorry, Imp, I tried.

For those reading this if you want to tag yourself for your own 7 things blog (and good luck to you getting through 7 new points without repeating yourself), go ahead and share this meme with the world. :)

Silly Christmas Lyric Meme: Silver Bells

Last year I started a silly Christmas lyric meme and thought I would give it another shot with a different song to analyze because, well, just because, I heard a Christmas song that I've heard a thousand times before and it made me think . . . (feel free to play along and share your own silly thoughts about Christmas lyrics on your own blog)

The Rules: Pick a Christmas lyric that you've always had a question about and discuss it. Then either tag one or more people or either tag nobody and invite your readers to tag themselves and enjoy discussing the subject on their own.

The Song: Silver Bells (written by Ray Evans & Jay Livingston, sung by countless others . . .)

Lyrics In Question: "And on every street corner you'll hear: Silver bells, silver bells, it's Christmas time in the city."

The Comment: I know that there's a medical condition in which people perceive one sense as another, so they can perhaps smell colours, see sounds or hear physical stimulation. But apart from this rare disorder, I've always wondered how, in this song, you can hear "silver bells" on every street corner.

I mean, you should easily be able to hear sleigh bells or just some sort of bells in general -- but how, upon hearing them, does one know that they are silver?

Now I have a buddy with a specially trained and very sensitive ear. We'll call him Steve. He can detect subtle nuances in audio stimulus; so I'm considering doing an experiment and taking let's say 3 or 4 of the very same bells that give the exact same ring and painting them different colours, one of those colours being silver, of course, and seeing if he can tell the difference. I mean, if anyone can, Steve will be able to and will thus be able to put a rest to my pondering of these Christmas lyrics.

Tagging: Anyone who wants to play along. (Go ahead, don't be shy. Tag yourself. It feels good.)


Feel free to use the "Cousin Eddie" image by copying the following code and replacing the '(' and ')' with '<' and '>' :

(a href="http://markleslie.blogspot.com/2006/12/mark-leslies-silly-christmas-lyric.html")(img src="http://static.flickr.com/136/321235351_90abf16624_m.jpg" alt="Mark Leslie's Silly Christmas Lyric meme" /)

Mark Leslie's Silly Christmas Lyric Meme

I've always wanted to start a Meme, and of course, try to give it a title that I'd recognize as mine and see how far the thing could spread. An experiment in vanity, of course . . .

The Rules: Pick a Christmas lyric that you've always had a question about and discuss it. Then either tag one or more people or either tag nobody and invite your readers to tag themselves and enjoy discussing the subject on their own.

Feel free to use the "Cousin Eddie" image by copying the following code and replacing the '(' and ')' with '<' and '>' :

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The Song: The Christmas Song (by Nat King Cole)

Lyrics In Question: "And so I'm offering this simply phrase, to kids from one to ninety-two; although it's been said many times many ways: Merry Christmas to you."

The Comment: Nothing against Nat King Cole or the multitude of people who sing this song. I, in fact sing this song all the time. Even when it's not Christmas time. It's just a fun song, an easy tune and I find it so wonderfully relaxing.

And I'm not even going to take the "easy one" about this song and discuss the whole politically incorrect "folks dressed up like Eskimos" -- that's a freebee for another who wants to run with it.

But I've always been bothered a little bit by some of the lyrics. "To kids from one to ninety-two."

What about kids that aren't yet one year old? Why haven't they been included in the Christmas wishes? I suppose when I was that age I never noticed that the singer didn't include me in his Christmas wishes, so I was never upset about it. But if I do get to live to the ripe age of 92, will I be worried that Nat King Cole and most of the others who sing this song don't include me in his Christmas wishes? Will I myself stop singing it? And how would I feel singing in a room to a group of people if there were any babies under 1 or people older than 92 there? Would I feel it necessary to stop and apologize to them that they weren't included and perhaps after finishing the song go and wish them their own unique "Merry Christmas to you" since the song didn't include them?

Don't get me wrong, I know that to make the thing rhyme the writer had to pick an age range. But I always wondered how 1 and 92 were decided on and not something like: "from my heart and out to you....." which still rhymes and is relatively inclusive. Or perhaps to keep the "kids" motif something like: "from kids out there like me and you" (implying, like the original lyrics do that we're all kids nomatter what age)

But maybe I worry too much about these things . . . and regardless of YOUR age: Merry Christmas to YOU!

Tagging: Anyone who wants to play as well as Franny, Rainy Pete, Lime and Gwen. (I'm rather curious to read your takes on different Christmas lyrics)