Thursday, May 05, 2011

HNT - Spud Wars: Darth's Revenge (Part II)

This blog post is a serialized story continued from HNT - Spud Wars: Darth's Revenge (Part I)

The attack of the Darth clones was swift and ruthless (unlike this meandering storyline which is seeming to take forever just to get to a good action sequence).  But despite it's "long time coming" nature, the aforementioned attack completely caught Mark by surprise. (He is rarely accused of being the brightest bulb in the box)

He was able to step on a few of the spuds.

He was able to poke perhaps half a dozen eyes, muttering a "nyuck nyuck" type sound like one of the Three Stooges.

He was able, even, to knock a few out of the air and squeeze a few in his hands, like an overzealous and anxious senior squeezing fruit at the supermarket.

But the never-ending onslaught of Darth Taters was too much.

For with every spud he was able to defeat, another two stepped into their place.

Mark was seriously outnumbered.

As blow after blow struck his thick, balding head, Mister Bunny's words of wisdom came to him. "Use the forks, Mark. Use the forks."

The Taters forced him off of his feet, and he fell to the floor not far from the forks he'd been practicing with moments before that fateful knock on the door which led to this attack.

"Dammit," he said, wishing he'd spent more time practicing on the forks and less time practicing playing the spoons. But the 7th Doctor Who in that series made playing the spoons so appealing that he just couldn't help himself -- even, he thought, if it was a different science-fiction reference than the Lucas-inspired one he'd been in for this tale.

He desperately reached out, but was still inches away from reaching his weapon of choice.

To be continued . . . in HNT - Spud Wars: Mark's Last Stand

Will Mark be able to use the forks to get out of his current predicament? Will the Darth Tater clones be victorious in their revenge? Will Mark ever get the chance to play the spoons again? Did Spoons, a new-wave band from the 80's that started near Hamilton, even play their hit song "Romantic Traffic" on the spoons? Can we please get back to asking questions pertinent to this story? Will Mark regret eating Darth Tater's father with a light dusting of salt and dipped in ketchup?

Will this silly Darth Tater series ever come to an end or will it continue to stretch out like this in short bursts with poorly created "Photoshopped" pictures?

If by some strange chance you're actually enjoying the goofy story, you can find some answers next week in the continuing story of . . .

* The font used for the SPUD WARS logo above came from Boba Fonts on Fontspace - check out all their cool designs.


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