Thursday, April 28, 2011

HNT - Spud Wars: Darth's Revenge (Part 1)

This blog post is a serialized story continued from HNT- Spud Wars: When Darth Comes Knocking

When we last left off, Darth and his gang of clones had approached Mark's house, marching two by two hurrah, hurrah. The clones went marching two by two hurrah, hurrah. The clones went marching two by two, the little one stopped to change his shoes and they all went marching down . . . . [whoops, sorry, the writer got caught in a phrase that was too similar to a repetetive song that is now stuck in his head . . . silly ear-worm!]

Once the clone army of spuds had arrived, the group of clones hid while Darth knocked on the door and tricked an unsuspecting Mark into opening it.

Expecting to see the Avon lady, Mark (who had apparently grown a Van Dyke patch of hair on his face in the time it took for the clone spuds to be grown), was surprised to see his old nemesis Darth Tater standing in the doorway.

"I lied," Darth said.

"Pardon me?" Mark responded, still reeling from the shock but not forgetting his wife's continual prodding that the polite response when you don't initially hear or understand someone is to say "Pardon me?" rather than "What?" or "Huh?" or "Eh?"

"When we played the 'knock, knock' game just a moment ago, I lied. When you said 'Who's there?' I said I was the Avon lady. That was just to get you to open the door. Now that the door is opened, I'd like to change my response because I thought of a better line. So, can you ask who's there again?"

"What's the point?" Mark asked. "I already know who is there."

"It's for comedic effect, you idiot."

"Oh, alright then." Mark said. "Geez, the things I do just to get a cheap laugh around here. Okay, are you ready?"


"Who's there?"


"Vera?" Mark asked. "Vera who?"

"Vera gonna kill you!" Darth wailed, and, as he let out a battle cry, the hidden clones all jumped out of hiding, launching a quick and ruthless attack on their enemy.

To be continued . . . in Darth's Revenge (Part II)

Startled? Confused? Frightened? Let's just hope that you're not wearing as goofy a look as Mark is in that first picture accompanying the story. As was promised last week, the "special effects" in this story, which feature really cheap "Photoshopping" techniques have just begun. (But it should be noted that the Van Dyke on Mark's face IS real and not a special effect) Don't those special effects add a nice element that helps you get over the crappy story and lame jokes? 

If this tale hasn't yet put you to sleep or turned you off reading this blog, check back next Thursday for details of the viscious Darth attack in the continuing story of . . .

* The font used for the SPUD WARS logo above came from Boba Fonts on Fontspace - check out all their cool designs.

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