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Friday, April 01, 2005

Spring Has Sprung

Spring has sprung
The grass is riz
I wonder where
My hairpiece is

When I got out of the shower this morning I noticed that those little forward crouching hairs that seemed to be living an inch or so in front of my receeding hairline were tangled in a fuzzy little ball, almost like they realized their end was near and the were cowering together in a huddle. I had to put them out of their misery and release them from their suffering in a single cruel pluck - my other option, of course, was to sport the little ball in the middle of my forehead and make a new fashion statement, but what with the Van Dyke and new glasses, I figure I've done enough to alter my appearance lately.

Reading Jeff Mahoney's column in the Hamilton Spectator this morning made me chuckle. He quoted an Emo Phillips joke that I remember enjoying.

"I hope to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not
screaming like the passengers in his car."
- Emo Phillips

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