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Monday, March 21, 2005

Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia

"I looked in the mirror today
My eyes just didn't seem so bright
I've lost a few more hairs
I think I'm . . . I'm goin' bald."
- Rush (I Think I'm Going Bald)

Actually, I've realized for years now (maybe 1o or so), that I'm going bald, so it's no big shock. The hairs on my forehead have been racing to get to the back of the line for years now, all scrambling backwards as if eager to avoid my big slapping "I shoulda had a V-8" hand.

What I found interesting when looking at myself in the mirror this morning, is a very small group of lone warrior fighters, maybe an inch or so below the rest of the receeding hairline. I'm not sure if they are new lone venturers, pioneers, attempting to re-infultrate the front of my head with hair, or if they are old stragglers who simply didn't get the memo that they should be beating a hasty retreat backwards to meet the slowly growing bald patch expanding in from the back.

Also hard to believe I didn't notice them before, given how long most of them are. It made me think there might be hope, that I could buy a product like Rogaine (or maybe even that paste they use on Chia pets), slap a little on and watch it live long and prosper. Or maybe I could pull a Dean Koontz and just do hair implants (after winning the lottery of course) - he looked pretty decent after the procedure (but didn't look that bad with a bald pan). Of course, if I did get implants, the new hairs, after moving into the neighborhood, would likely be welcomed by the other hairs with a nudge and a quick point at the "condemned" sign written in magic ink that only hairs can read on the front of my head.

"It seems like only yesterday
We would sit and talk of dreams all night
Dreams of youth and simple truth
But now we're all so involved . . . we're so involved with life"

- Rush (I Think I'm Going Bald)

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