Every Little Thing

A funny and interesting woman that I used to work with at Prospero Books in Ottawa used to utter a curse to people. It was an interesting one, and went something like this:

May you get everything you ever wished for -- next Tuesday

It's an interesting curse when you think about it. Take a moment to pause and imagine all of the things that you ever wished for (and never got). And don't just think of things you are currently longing for -- go waaaay back to unfulfilled fantasies from years ago. Now imagine that all of those wishes came true all on the same day.

Scary, isn't it? Allow me to illustrate.

For me, I'd have a heck of a time explaining to Francine how Sass Jordan, Heather Thomas, Catherine Bach, Carrie Fisher and Cathy Lee Crosby suddenly ended up in bed with us, what Stephen King and Stan Lee were doing sitting at our basement bar with my buddies Steve, Pete, Tom and John, all having a drink and listening to Rush, who are playing live in the other corner of the basement, and why John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John were sitting in Grease Lightning in our driveway, waiting to give us a ride (behind them of course would be Bo & Luke Duke in the General Lee, Starsky & Hutch in their red Ford Torino and Burt Reynolds & Sally Field from Smokey & The Bandit. Not to mention the Millennium Falcon swooping down to take us onintergalacticctic joyride)

After that, of course, Francine would question me as to why I never told her about either my secret identity as Spider-Man nor that I had starred as Lee Majors' side-kick on The Fall Guy as well as his young bionic friend on The Six Million Dollar Man.

And those are just SOME of things I'd wanted by the time I was eighteen that I can remember off the top of my head. There are another 18 years of crazy stuff to throw in there.

It's a damn good curse, though, isn't it?