Thursday, June 16, 2011

HNT - Spud Wars: Epilogue

Continued from HNT - Spud Wars: The Conclusion

As father and son were celebrating the defeat of their foe, Darth Tater, they failed to hear the creaking of someone coming down the steps.

A shadow fell across them, and they both froze, wondering how the two of them could possible be caught unawares, this father and son team being so crafty and clever and cunning (not to mention their fondness for alliteration).

"What the heck is going on here?" A loud voice boomed through the basement.

Oh no! It was Francine (known to Mark as Wife, Partner, Honey Bunny to Alexander as Mom, Mommy, Meow-meow and to both as She Who Must Be Obeyed)

And Francine was not at all pleased. One might even say she was angry. But why waste words trying to explain how she was feeling? Why TELL? It's a poor storyteller tactic. It's much better to SHOW.

"What kind of trouble are you two getting into NOW?" Francine asked, shaking her head. "And WHAT have you done with the Darth Tater toy that I bought you for Christmas? You've completely destroyed it."

"But, hon, we . . . that is . . . I . . . er," Mark tried to stammer out an excuse while Alexander simply tried to crawl away and hide.

"I can understand this from Alexander. He's not even two years old. But YOU!" Fran said. "You're supposed to be the adult here. And you should learn to take better care of your things. Just look at that toy -- it's busted into a million pieces."

"It's really only about a dozen or so pieces," Mark muttered.

"Pardon me?"

"I said, it's only about a dozen pieces."

"Don't get saucy with me, mister!"

"Hon, listen." Mark said in a whiny voice. "We were playing. You know, fun make believe stuff. It was all part of our important father and son bonding. And besides, we got at least one or two people from all over the world who read my blog excited about the whole Darth Tater Spud Wars serial story. Again! Because don't you know this has been a re-telling of the original tale we told back in 2006."

"Don't get all: 'explain the circumstance and back-story through dialogue' with me, mister. Besides, you're making this confusing."

"Yes, I suppose I have been messing with the time-space continuum of this tale's supposed fictional realm, with Alexander now 6 years old and Mister Bunny having been dead since the year I first told this story. But it was fun sharing this story again. And fun to go back and re-experience it. Re-edit some stuff. Re-imagine some dialogue moments like the one we're having right now that never occurred for this long in the original version of the tale."

Francine smiled, then started to laugh. "Well, okay, since you were using your imaginations, and also using the Internet for anything other than watching Lego Star Wars videos or downloading porn, than I guess it's okay."

"What's porn?" Alexander asked.

"Er, it's a new type of vegetable that hasn't really caught on. A hybrid between peas and corn." Mark said.

"Anyways," Francine said. "I suppose you two are not in trouble anymore."

"Yaaaa!" Both Mark and Alexander said.

"Now c'mon. Get cleaned up! Supper is ready. I'm sure all this adventure and make-believe has given you a huge appetite."

"Yummm," Mark said. "What are we having?"

"Smashed potatoes and tater tots!" Francine said.

"Yaaaaaaa!" Both Mark and Alexander cheered again.

The End
Yes, it's true.
This long-winded re-run/re-boot of the Spud Wars serial adventure is finally over!
Thanks for reading!

* Please note that no actual toys or potatoes were harmed during the making of this serialized tale. 
(Although Alexander did bang his knee, Mark got rug burn and Francine needed to take some Advil)
(Also, the toys on the floor in this story DID eventually get cleaned up, but newer toys - toys enjoyed by 6 year olds and 42 year olds alike are sprawled all over that same space. Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose) 

* The font used for the SPUD WARS logo above came from Boba Fonts on Fontspace - check out all their cool designs.

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