A Skeleton Walks into a Bar

Two skeletons walk into a bar and say to the bartender: "We'll have a pitcher of beer and a mop, please!"

Me and Yorick

At least, that's one way to tell that joke.

I love that there are so many different ways to spin a joke.

Front yard joke sign for April 29, 2020

I mean, you start with a skeleton of an idea on how the word play can go, and then you flesh it out a bit, add a little muscle here, a little nuance that gets under the skin there.

The other day when Liz was online and I needed to stay off the computer, I shot a few stupid dad jokes on the skeleton theme using Barnaby Bones and Yorick. I later compiled them into a video.

See, I'm helping you exercise your eyeballs with all those eyeball rolls.

Barnaby and Yorick are jealous that at least YOU have eyes to roll.

Stuck In This House Here With You - A Parody

The other day, I posted a picture to social media of Liz doing something silly.

A friend commented that it was probably a side effect of being stuck in self-isolation with me for so long.

The song "Stuck in the Middle With You" by Stealers Wheel came up. And the suggestion for doing a spoof version of it.

It bounced around in my head for a bit. The way things do.

Long enough for me to quickly pen some parody lyrics to that original 1972 song.

 

I read the lyrics to Liz. She thought they were funny.

She rolled her eyes, appropriately when the song mentions poo.

I said we should try to record a duet version of the song.

She looked at me like I had just suggested we create a video tape of an intimate moment between us and upload it to Pornhub. That's because I'm the one in our relationship who is "all out there." Humiliating myself publicly is par for the course. Liz prefers to be the creative force "behind the camera."

But less than twelve hours later, she mentioned that she had some ideas for visuals that could go with the song.

You see, for years, she has been producing these amazing videos. Mostly in relation to her work. And the majority of the time she stays out of view of the camera.

Lately, however, she has had a bit more exposure, collaborating with a co-worker on producing a "morning show" style live show as a way of doing a combination of team-building, information sharing, and humorous distraction for her staff. It's a private show, meant for this specific team. But I've watched a number of episodes and, like so many of the things Liz does, I think it's fantastic.

So we started talking about how the video might look.

After relaxing one evening after watching a few episodes of the first season of Cheers, we did a dry run-through of a revised version of the parody lyrics to a karaoke version of the song.

Then yesterday morning, we went into our studio (okay, my home office where I record my podcast and do other video/audio related things as an author and book industry guy), and we did a number of takes, collaboratively revising the lyrics, then laying down the track.

We used the Ameritz Karaoke version of the song for the background track. Then we shot the video using an iPad, which Liz edited and produced right on the iPad using iMovie. After she finished, I imported the video into Camtasia 2019 to add the titles and annotations.

I'm proud of the short, cute story this parody version tells.

 

It was an awesome collaborative project. Yes, it was work, but for the first time in days, neither of us was spinning and spending the whole day either working or thinking and worrying about work stuff.

And perhaps also, more importantly, for the first time in days, we finally got a song stuck in our heads that has replaced the hilarious parody created by Brock Tyler of our Prime Minister using the words "speaking moistly."  (Fun fact, BTW, the original lyrics of the song included a nod to that:)

"...and outside, the germs are crawling so moistly in the air - we say.....Please....."

It's enriching to collaborate on something creative and fun with the person you love. When you realize that there's nobody you'd rather be stuck in isolation with.

Here's hoping that the song inspires at least one much needed smile or laugh for you.

Humor Can Be Really Serious Stuff

I recently interviewed my friend Terry Fallis for an episode of the Stark Reflections on Writing and Publishing podcast.

Apart from gushing over how much I adored Terry's novels, I had Terry take a journey through his unique publishing path, from self-publishing and podcasting his novel, to winning awards, landing an agent and a publisher, and then winning more awards and having his book The Best Laid Plans made into a musical stage show and a mini-series for CBC Television.

Among the many great things we spoke about, here's a clip of Terry talking about the use of humor to address a serious subject matter (while speaking about his novel Poles Apart)

You can watch the full video interview here.

Or you can listen to the entire audio of Episode 29 of the Stark Reflections Podcast here.

“Terry Fallis has written a delightful book about a young man inspired by feminism to contribute to the cause. . . . Funny and engaging, Poles Apart is a thoroughly enjoyable and enlightening read.”

Judy Rebick, founding publisher, rabble.ca, and former president of the National Action Committee on the Status of Women

No Relation Book Launch

I attended the official launch for No Relation by Terry Fallis last night.

Sure, the book has been out since May and has climbed the charts on the Globe & Mail Bestseller list (no surprise there - it's a fantastic novel filled with both hilarious moments as well as poignant ones), but the evening was Terry celebrating his new novel with a group of friends, associates, family and colleagues.

Tim Fallis kicks off the evening, admitting he has "some relation" to his twin brother Terry

It was a packed house at Dora Keogh on Danforth; standing room only as we cheered and celebrated Terry's latest book. Book City, the very first bookstore to carry Terry's first novel The Best Laid Plans back when it was self-published and Terry was an unknown author, was on hand selling copies of Terry's novels as well as Douglas Gibson's Stories About Storytellers. (I'm proud to state that, while Book City was the first bookstore to carry it, I was the second bookseller to pick up his book and one that insisted we do a book launch for The Best Laid Plans at McMaster.)

Terry's twin brother Tim (who exudes the same charm and wit as his brother), kicked off the evening, congratulating and teasing his brother before introducing Douglas Gibson, Terry's editor and a master storyteller in his own right, who introduced Terry.

Doug Gibson talks about the joy of being Terry's editor and friend

Doug spoke about Terry's reputation among booksellers as a "nice guy" and, speaking with booksellers, you get a true sense that Terry is adored both near and far by booksellers and is an avid supporter of his friends in the bookish trade. He mentioned in his opening remarks last night that when a neighbourhood bookstore closes, it's not just the loss of a handful of jobs nor the inconvenience of not having a local bookshop to check out that occurs, it's that a piece of the very fabric of culture itself has been torn from that community.

Listening to Terry do a short reading from Chapter One of the novel made me want to read it again.I had read the advance reader's copy of the novel, but I want to enjoy the story once more and figure I'll go back and listen to the podcast of Terry reading the novel.

Reading the novel was great - but the humour was much stronger when delivered by Terry's fine reading of the piece. I'm looking forward to enjoying it again, this time through Terry's narration. (Yes, there's a podcast where you can listen to the entire book for free - Terry has done that with every one of his novels and I applaud Random House, his publisher, for allowing him to continue to use this vehicle as a promotional tool to help sell more copies of his book)

The novel is truly Terry at his finest form. I have adored all of his novels, and while I still have quite the fondness for Angus McLintock (brought to life wonderfully by Kenneth Welsh in the CBC MiniSeries based on Terry's first novel) this is my favourite novel so far.

Perhaps there's something about the way Terry addresses family in this novel that provides the ring of truth for people to embrace it.

The very first book launch for Terry's first book - back in Sept 2007 at the campus store formerly known as Titles (McMaster University Bookstore

In my review of the novel on Goodreads, I called the book witty, wry, cunning and clever and said that "the story combines silly humour, slapstick situations and unexpectedly touching moments with intriguing twists, knots and turns, creating a pleasurable, well-rounded and ultimately satisfying journey."

Join me and the smartest booksellers in the land in checking out this book which I highly recommend you add to your summer reading list.

The Little Things . . . Like Smiles

I can't help but be terribly impressed every time I'm waiting in line to go through the security screening at Pearson's Terminal 1 whenever I'm heading to the US.

Because this guy is always there, singing to travellers.

As people arrive to drop off their checked bags, he assists customers with the process and sings to them. It's one of a dozen different tunes that he sings, of course, midway through any song he'll insert instructions on where people need to go next or a simple "have a nice day" at an appropriate time in the melody.

He always elicits a smile out of me, even when I'm stressed and worried about not making my flight (which that security checkout line can easily inspire). He doesn't have to do what he does. His job is to take the bags and perhaps answer questions from confused travelers - but he adds that little extra touch, offering something unique to the day of each person who sees and hears him.

It's a small thing that he does, but it puts smiles on peoples faces.

Last time I went through Pearson, I joked with one of the agents who was inspecting my hands for residue (drug residue? gun oil residue? bomb chemical residue? driver's booger residue?) by asking her if he ever comes in to work in a grumpy mood. She laughed and smiled and said not that she'd ever seen.

I don't know the man's name, but I admire him and appreciate that little thing he brings in people's lives every day.  He also inspires me to consider what little things I might be able to do to make another person's day that much brighter.

Meta Spam

I have to laugh.

Last year I posted a cheeky tale called "Fun with Telemarketers" outlining an ongoing frustration about telemarketers - specifically ones that are calling about duct cleaning.

It documented the call I received. You know the ones that start out like this:

TELEMARKETER: Hello, may I speak with Mr. Lefjlkaliufdkjlalkflj [indeterminable gibberish as he tries, desperately, to pronounce my last name. The poor guy. There should be a sympathy greeting card for having to go through all that in front of a complete stranger]

In any case, my post was about making the best out of a frustrating situation, and the fun I ended up having with the guy.

This morning I woke up to find a spam comment posted here with a link to a service -- you know the one I'm talking about: it's a vague commentary about enjoying the "article" and then a link to a service.

The service was, of course, for duct cleaning.  So at least they did their "strategic spam" homework - I'll give them that.

But like I said, you have to laugh.

Fun With Telemarketers

Instead of being annoyed with telemarketers I try to have some fun with them.

After all, they are real people doing a job. There's no point treating them with disrespect.

Example - I just got off the phone with a telemarketer.  Here's how it went.

TELEMARKETER: Hello, may I speak with Mr. Lefjlkaliufdkjlalkflj [indeterminable gibberish as he tries, desperately, to pronounce my last name. The poor guy. There should be a sympathy greeting card for having to go through all that in front of a complete stranger]

ME:  Yes, this is Mr Whatever-You-Just-Tried-To-Say. How can I help you?

TELEMARKETER: [laughs] You have a good sense of humour.

ME:  You need to have one with a last name like mine. I used to run out of pencil whenever I wrote my name on the top of a homework assignment in school.  But do you know what might make me feel better?

TELEMARKETER: What is that?

ME:  If someone would just call me, right out of the blue and let me know that they're having a promotion of special prices, in this area, offering full service duct cleaning for my entire home.

TELEMARKETER:  Well, sir that's precisely why I'm calling.

ME:  I know. I'm just playing with you. Remember what I said about needing to have a good sense of humour. I find it helps to do that instead of getting frustrated with unsolicited calls like this despite me asking repeatedly, to be taken off your list.  I understand, you're just doing your job and the machine automatically dials. So I'll ask politely if you can please take me off your list, or put me on your do not call list -- however it best works. I don't need any duct cleaning services. I just had some done and I feel like a new man. [I take a deep breath to illustrate how healthy my lungs sound with the clean ducts of my home, desperately hoping that I don't sound too much like Darth Vader]

TELEMARKETER:  I will do that, sir.  Thanks for your patience.

ME:  Excellent. Thank you. And have a wonderful evening. Will talk to you again tomorrow night, I'm sure.

TELEMARKETER:  [laughs as he hangs up and says good night]

Okay, I've might have changed the script a tiny bit to make myself sound more intelligent and witty than the way it really went down.  I am a fiction writer, after all; and besides, we always remember our own roles as being more intelligent/classy/witty than they actually were. Don't we?

But that's about the gist of the call.  We've gotten an average of 2 "duct cleaning" calls per week on and off for the past few months, so it was a good guess on my part as to why he was calling.

And what I'm really just trying to do is make a simple point.

I'm human. The guy on the other end of the phone is human. I don't need duct cleaning, and I'm not happy to be repeatedly called from whatever sucker list I thought I was taken off of. But yelling at him or being rude to him isn't going to make my evening or his evening any better. The deed is done, the moment is now, here we are, too unwilling participant strangers meeting during the dinner hour.

So I tossed in a bit of humour, joked with him, we both laughed, and life went on.

I need to remind myself to take advantage of these types of moments whenever possible. After all, life's too short not to look for little ways to bring a smile into the equation.

Toying With The Fourth Wall

I've always enjoyed theatre or other media that experiments with the fourth wall (ie, plays in postmodernism and meta-humour). In particular, I've quite enjoyed the various ways in which the television show Castle continually crosses over and toys with the fourth wall in various yet subtle manners.

Because we missed the first half of the first season of the show, Francine and I recently bought the DVD of Season One, which we very quickly devoured.

Going back to the series beginning, we're seeing that it has been a good show with some crafty and charming writing, right from the beginning. So good, in fact, that I'm surprised it continues to be renewed. (Yes, Francine and I regularly have the luck of finding shows we really enjoy don't get renewed, so this is one of those fine exceptions)

The writing of the show is top notch crime thriller stuff. The mystery is always intriguing and contains a good number of complex twists. The humour is also really well done. The obvious and expected love interest between the two main characters, Castle (Nathan Fillion) and Kate Beckett (Stana Katic), the NYC detective Castle shadows is carried out quite effectively, and the growing friendship between the two is wonderfully developed - something I attribute to a combination of great writing and acting.

There is a playful interaction between all of the cast members from the 12th precinct during each investigation, as is the relationship between Castle and his daughter, as well as his mother. Another example of fine writing and acting combined beautifully. Each scene contains subtle yet important nuances that reveal both characters as well as the relationships between them that make the show much richer.

In a nutshell, the actors, casting, writers and directors of this show deserve a lot of credit for pulling off an otherwise unreleastic scenario (a mystery writer being allowed to shadow a police detective that closely and work that intimately on various cases). The writers even have fun with the fourth wall, such as Castle playing poker with real-life mystery writers and the scene from the first season where Castle is sitting in Beckett's car (stuck there because he isn't allowed to go into a building with Beckett and her team during a bust) and like a big kid pretends to be driving the parked car and chasing bad guys -- all the while humming a haunting familiar tune: The theme music to the show.

And the producers have also done something phenomenal in the real world release of books under the name Richard Castle. As Castle is writing a new series of novels featuring a fictional NYC detective named Nikki Heat which is based on and inspired by Beckett (much to Beckett's chagrin), Hyperion books has been releasing novels with the same titles and based on the fictional setting. The "Castle" character in the novels is a journalist called Jameson Rook, a cute "Castle" reference in and of itself. On top of that wonderfully executed fourth wall element, actor Nathan Fillion even toured real life bookstores playing the role of Castle.

I picked up Heat Wave, the first of the books, because after seeing so many mentions of it, and loving the writing of the show, I just couldn't resist.  I was delighted that the novel was as well written as one of the episodes of the show, and it even explored the back story of the characters (such as the murder of Beckett's mother) quite wonderfully, the way only novels can. I'm not sure if it was written by a single ghost writer or a combination of writers from the television series. But at just over 200 pages, it was a good thriller and played nicely upon all the same relationship dynamics (not just Beckett and Castle, but all the other characters) that appear in the television episodes. I definitely plan on picking up and reading the second book, Naked Heat, and see that a third book, Heat Rises is slated to be released in September 2011.

As mentioned earlier, one of the fascinating crossovers that happens are the occasional scenes in the show when Rick Castle plays poker with a bunch of writer buddies. Those scenes feature real life mystery/thriller writers. Last week's episode, which included a poker game scene featured Michael Connelly and Dennis Lehane and included a beautiful nod to the late Stephen J. Cannell where a newbie to the game is told he can't sit in Stephen's seat, which is left vacant for a year after a member's death.

Again, this isn't just a show that wonderfully toys with the fourth wall, but a brilliant example of transmedia storytelling. I'll not only be picking up the next novel in the series, but also buying Season Two, Three and Four. Not a bad run for a show that began as a mid-series replacement.