A Corona Kinda Christmas

Liz and I enjoyed making a pandemic parody medley in the guise of the old K-Tel style television commercials back in the spring.

We kicked around the idea of putting together a similar one but with a bit of a Christmas theme.

So I started to work on some lyrics. The cool thing about writing a "medley" album spoof is that you don't need to do the whole song; just small bits of it.

We never ended up getting to do the work on recording the songs or the video. Stuff happens.

But on Christmas Day, after spending far too long trying to get a picture of us with the fur family (the only family we saw over the holidays due to pandemic lockdown)...

Then we started goofing around and took a few pics of us drinking Corona in front of our book Christmas tree.

One of the images looked perfect for the album cover of the parody we never recorded. So I used it to make a fake album.

Here are some of the planned lyrics in the album that never happened.

[EDIT: Like an itch I HAD to scratch, these songs wouldn't let me go, so I quickly slapped a parody commercial together....and mocked the fact it came out AFTER Christmas]

 

This Year Blows 

(To the tune of "Let It Snow")

Oh these pandemic times are frightening
And my pants, they just keep tightening
Stuck inside with no place to go
This year blow, this year blows, this year blows

Rusty the Noseman 

(To the tune of "Frosty the Snowman")

Rusty the Noseman wears his mask below his nose
With both nostrils out for the world to see
And his eyes all glazed and stoned

Rusty the Noseman is a miracle they say
And he moves about with a protruding snout
As he goes about his day

He must think there is magic in
That cloth across his gums
He wears it on just half the face
That’s connected to his lungs

Oh Rusty the Noseman, is as stunned as one can be
Even children say, it don’t work that way
He’s a risk for you and me

 

Heck Those Malls 

(To the tune of "Deck the Halls")

Heck those malls are filled with folly
Fa la la la la la la la la
Shoppers crammed and no one’s jolly
Fa la la la la la la la la
Don we now our plague apparel
Fa la la la la la la la la
Troll the maskless, yell and quarrel
Fa la la la la la la la la

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like F*ck This

(To the tune of "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas)

It’s beginning to look a lot like f*ck this
Yes, this whole year blows

Stuck In This House Here With You - A Parody

The other day, I posted a picture to social media of Liz doing something silly.

A friend commented that it was probably a side effect of being stuck in self-isolation with me for so long.

The song "Stuck in the Middle With You" by Stealers Wheel came up. And the suggestion for doing a spoof version of it.

It bounced around in my head for a bit. The way things do.

Long enough for me to quickly pen some parody lyrics to that original 1972 song.

 

I read the lyrics to Liz. She thought they were funny.

She rolled her eyes, appropriately when the song mentions poo.

I said we should try to record a duet version of the song.

She looked at me like I had just suggested we create a video tape of an intimate moment between us and upload it to Pornhub. That's because I'm the one in our relationship who is "all out there." Humiliating myself publicly is par for the course. Liz prefers to be the creative force "behind the camera."

But less than twelve hours later, she mentioned that she had some ideas for visuals that could go with the song.

You see, for years, she has been producing these amazing videos. Mostly in relation to her work. And the majority of the time she stays out of view of the camera.

Lately, however, she has had a bit more exposure, collaborating with a co-worker on producing a "morning show" style live show as a way of doing a combination of team-building, information sharing, and humorous distraction for her staff. It's a private show, meant for this specific team. But I've watched a number of episodes and, like so many of the things Liz does, I think it's fantastic.

So we started talking about how the video might look.

After relaxing one evening after watching a few episodes of the first season of Cheers, we did a dry run-through of a revised version of the parody lyrics to a karaoke version of the song.

Then yesterday morning, we went into our studio (okay, my home office where I record my podcast and do other video/audio related things as an author and book industry guy), and we did a number of takes, collaboratively revising the lyrics, then laying down the track.

We used the Ameritz Karaoke version of the song for the background track. Then we shot the video using an iPad, which Liz edited and produced right on the iPad using iMovie. After she finished, I imported the video into Camtasia 2019 to add the titles and annotations.

I'm proud of the short, cute story this parody version tells.

 

It was an awesome collaborative project. Yes, it was work, but for the first time in days, neither of us was spinning and spending the whole day either working or thinking and worrying about work stuff.

And perhaps also, more importantly, for the first time in days, we finally got a song stuck in our heads that has replaced the hilarious parody created by Brock Tyler of our Prime Minister using the words "speaking moistly."  (Fun fact, BTW, the original lyrics of the song included a nod to that:)

"...and outside, the germs are crawling so moistly in the air - we say.....Please....."

It's enriching to collaborate on something creative and fun with the person you love. When you realize that there's nobody you'd rather be stuck in isolation with.

Here's hoping that the song inspires at least one much needed smile or laugh for you.

There's Something Here As Strong As Life

"Suddenly you were gone

From all the lives you left your mark upon

- I remember."

-Neil Peart, Afterimage, Grace Under Pressure (RUSH)

Earlier this week the world lost legendary drummer and author Neil Peart. Peart, who was born on Sept 12, 1952 in Hamilton, Ontario died in Santa Monica on Jan 7, 2020. RUSH and Peart's family made the announcement late on Friday Jan 10th.

“It is with broken hearts and the deepest sadness that we must share the terrible news that on Tuesday our friend, soul brother and band mate of over 45 years, Neil, has lost his incredibly brave three and a half year battle with brain cancer,” began a statement from Rush. He was 67.

I first learned about Peart when my dear friend Pete Mihajic insisted that I listen to the 1984 album, Grace Under Pressure.

I had been spending a lot of time thinking and reading about anxieties over potential nuclear war and gotten involved in some nuclear disarmament groups. Pete said that this RUSH album had themes that were reminiscent. Certainly, the album's first track "Distant Early Warning" brought that to mind, as did many of the other tracks, such as "The Enemy Within" and "Red Sector A" - although I later learned of Peart's inspiration for the song of a prison camp being inspired by fellow bandmate Geddy Lee's mother's accounts of surviving the holocaust.

I listened to Grace Under Pressure over and over and over on the cassette tape that Pete recorded for me. Then I went out and bought the album. Then the cassette.

I fell in love with the thoughtful and pensive lyrics, the musical styling, everything about this band.

As an interesting aside, earlier this month an anthology of science fiction stories, Galaxia was published which includes a short story called "Grace Under Pressure" which I'd originally wrote to try to sell to Kevin J. Anderson for an anthology he was editing. Because I knew he was a huge RUSH fan I titled it that as a nod to our favorite band. ;) I didn't sell the story to Kevin, but was able to get it into this other anthology.

Then I bought the album Signals which also resonated with me with songs such as "Subdivisions" and "The Analog Kid" which were stark reminders of growing up as a nerd who never felt like he fit in. I wrote articles for the high school newspaper about how the songs resonated with me.

RUSH became a centerpiece for my friendship with Pete and Steve Gaydos and John Ellis.

 

 

 

 

 

I actually can't count the number of RUSH concerts that we saw together over the years. And I would never be able to count the number of hours we listened to their music and talked about the meaning of the songs. We loved that the guys of RUSH seemed to be more like us (nerds) than they were larger than life rock stars. They were three best friends who thought of one another like brothers and enjoyed making music and playing together for forty years.

 

But I got a little ahead of myself there. After discovering how much I loved Grace Under Pressure and Signals I moved on to get more backlist albums like Fly By Night and their first album, Rush. That first album did not include Peart, and so many of the lyrics weren't as philosophical and pensive. But John and I used to play many tracks from it before heading to high school dances, in particular the song "In The Mood" because it was, as the song lyrics go, roughly "a quarter to eight" when we were listening to it and getting ready to head to the dance.

The title track off of "Fly By Night" has been a song that has been with me through virtually every single significant change in my life over the decades. I first showed up to play it for Steve when he moved away to college, then it became my "acknowledge" change song for so many things.

I, of course, worked my way through all of their albums, and so many of their songs have been the backdrop to the soundtrack of my life in so many ways.

"Hold your fire
Keep it burning bright
Hold the flame
'Til the dream ignites
A spirit with a vision
Is a dream with a mission

I hear their passionate music
Read the words
That touch my heart
I gaze at their feverish pictures
The secrets that set them apart

When I feel the powerful visions
Their fire has made alive
I wish I had that instinct
I wish I had that drive"

Neil Peart, Misson, Hold Your Fire (RUSH)

It's rare for me to get into any sort of meaningful conversation about something without likely bringing up something from a RUSH song lyric that pertains to the topic. From songs like "Entre Nous" or "Spirit of Radio" or "Cinderalla Man" or "Circumstances" or "Madrigal" or "Limelight" or "Marathon" or "Mystic Rhythms" or "Dreamline" or "Far Cry" or "Caravan" - oh, who am I kidding? There are too many songs so meaningful to me to mention.

RUSH's music has been an integral part of my life. And it will continue to be.

"Listen to my music

And hear what it can do

There's something here as strong as life

I know that it will reach you."

- Neil Peart, Presentation, 2112 (RUSH)

I met Liz in 2014, just as RUSH was beginning to near retirement. And, as I do, I shared many of the songs and meaning of the band, it's music, and it's trio of amazing people with her. We listened to plenty of their albums together, we watched Beyond the Lighted Stage together. Seeing the back story of this band helped her understand the depth of the importance they had to me. And we attended their final tour, the R40 tour, together, which was really special.

When I found out that Neil Peart also wrote fiction and non-fiction, I was beside myself with joy, gobbling up everything he wrote, from his first co-authored short story to his first non-fiction travel memoir, and all the way through his writing career.

 

I have loved all of his books, but if I had to pick a favorite, it might be Traveling Music: The Soundtrack to my Life and Times. One of my favorite pictures of me and my son when he was a baby, was of the two of us having an afternoon nap. On the nightstand there is a copy of Neil's book, which I was mid-way through reading at the time.

While I never had the pleasure of knowing Neil personally, I am good friends with Kevin J. Anderson, who has long been a close friend of Neil. Considering how private a person Peart was, and the fact that he enjoyed working hard as a drummer, lyricist and writer, but was never comfortable in the role of celebrity and the way that fans fawn over and place them on pedestals, I was perfectly fine never trying to push through that veil. Why make someone uncomfortable for no good reason. I could admire and respect the man and his phenomenal work without having to gush in person to him about the incredibly powerful and positive inspiration he had on my life.

"Living in a fisheye lens
Caught in the camera eye
I have no heart to lie
I can't pretend a stranger
Is a long awaited friend."

- Neil Peart, Limelight, Moving Pictures (RUSH)

The closest I suppose I ever got to him was when I re-published a short story that Neil Peart and Kevin J. Anderson wrote called "Drumbeats" in the 2012 anthology I edited, Tesseracts Sixteen: Parnassus Unbound. Tesseracts was an anthology to spotlight Canadian authors, and Anderson is the only American to make it into the series, because his co-author, Peart, was Canadian.

When my buddy Kevin was in town to launch the novel Clockwork Angels, he stayed at my place in Hamilton, and at the celebratory dinner of the book launch with Peart and ECW, Kevin brought a copy of the anthology so that Neil could sign a copy for me.

 

It was an honour to bring back into print a story that I have long adored. And, earlier this week, I had the privilege of bringing it to more readers, as I have included "Drumbeats" in the guest editor issue of Pulphouse magazine that I just turned in to Dean Wesley Smith and WMG Publishing. It'll be out later this year.

Several years back, Kevin and I were enjoying craft beers on a patio at The Winking Judge in Hamilton when he invited me to submit a story to an anthology he was co-editing that was going to be called 2113 and feature stories inspired by the music of RUSH. The title story would be written by Kevin J. Anderson, and be a sequel to the story told in the RUSH album 2112. He told me to pick a song that hadn't already been spoken for, and to send him something.

I chose one of my absolute favorite RUSH songs, "Losing It" and wrote a story entitled "Some Are Born to Save the World." The beautiful and haunting song, "Losing It" explores the lives of a writer who can no longer create, and a dancer who can no longer dance as they age and their mind and body begin to fail them.

"Some are born to move the world

To live their fantasies

Most of us just dream about

The things we'd like to be

Sadder still to watch it die

Than never to have known it

For you the blind who once could see

The bell tolls for thee"

- Neil Peart, Losing It, Signals, RUSH

My story was about a superhero who could no longer save people as he reaches old age and his own body and powers begin to fail him.

It was a significant honor to re-publish a story co-authored by Anderson and Peart. But it was another truly unique honor to be able to write a story inspired by one of my favorite RUSH songs of all time.

The book cover features the "Starman" from the album cover for 2112 standing up to his knees in water and facing away from the viewer. I can ALWAYS tell a RUSH fan when I have the book at a comic con or other show where I have an author table, because they recognize the font and styling of the cover as matching 2112 from across the room and often stop, turn, then make a bee-line to the table to pick up the book as if it were some magical oracle.

I know that look, because it's likely the look I get on my face every time a RUSH song starts to play.

Because I know I'm about to be transported into some special place.

"As the years went by, we drifted apart
When I heard that you were gone
I felt a shadow cross my heart"

- Neil Peart, Nobody's Hero, Counterparts

I have written and spoken about Neil Peart countless times over the years. The words and music and example that he set continue to inspire me, and will continue to inspire me.

Thank you, Neil Peart, for the amazing gifts that you shared with the world, for the inspiration in all of the truly remarkable work that you left behind.

You will be missed. But you will be remembered and honored.

[EDIT - On Jan 14 I recorded a special Thanks for the Inspiration: Neil Peart episode of my Stark Reflections on Writing and Publishing Podcast, which includes a bit of this same info]

Going Your Own Way

"If I could, maybe I'd give you my world
How can I when you won't take it from me?"

These lyrics, near the opening of the Fleetwood Mac song "Go Your Own Way" might be familiar to authors who are trying to share their words, their worlds with an audience.

Sometimes the desire to give and to share is there, but perhaps the audience isn't, or isn't receptive to it.

But elements of the song, particularly the main words of the chorus also related to an interview I recently did with author T S Paul for my Stark Reflections Podcast.

Scott, like the person being sung to in this classic pop rock song, went his own way.

Specifically, he didn't listen to people who told him that he was crazy or out of his mind with the ideas he had for his own writing plan and the path he was determined to follow.

Silly Christmas Lyric Meme: Twas The Night Before Christmas

Years ago I started a silly Christmas lyric meme where I take a song we hear countless times during the holiday season and discuss something that confuses me about it or is worth exploring if merely for the humour . . . (feel free to play along and share your own silly thoughts about Christmas lyrics on your own blog)

I'm going to slightly break with tradition this time around and go with a poem rather than a song. But Clement C. Moore's "Twas the Night Before Christmas" (AKA "A Visit from St. Nicholas"). Although this poem HAS been set to music many times over the years.



The Rules: Pick a Christmas lyric that inspires silly thought and discuss it. Then either tag people or simply invite your readers to chime in with their own silliness.

Feel free to use the "Cousin Eddie" image by copying the following code and replacing the '(' and ')' with '<' and '>' :

(a href="http://markleslie.blogspot.com/2006/12/mark-leslies-silly-christmas-lyric.html")(img src="http://static.flickr.com/136/321235351_90abf16624_m.jpg" alt="Mark Leslie's Silly Christmas Lyric meme" /)


The Song: Twas the Night Before Christmas, attributed to Clement C. Moore.

Lyrics in Question: "When what to my wondering eyes did appear, but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer with a little old driver..." and others, to be mentioned.

The Comment: I propose that the popular interpretation of this poem is missing out on a simple fact. Santa isn't a human-sized man at all, but, in fact, a tiny elf.

That could certainly explain how he can slip down the chimney without issue.

Let's look at the line. One assumes that the tiny sleigh and reideer are because of the distance Sanata appears up in the sky. But nowhere does Moore mention that Santa is really high or far away. He simply calls the sleigh miniature, and the reindeer tiny and the driver "little" and "old."

Later, the narrator describes hearing on the roof the "prancing and pawing of each little hoof."

And, when Santa arrives, he is described with a droll little mouth and a little round belly. Moore even comes right out and says: "He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf."

Then, he describes how Santa stands laying his finger on the side of his nose and then rising up the chimney. There is no description of crouching or trying to jam his human sized body into the fireplace. It's a quick and easy movement; easy, because he's elf-sized and not human-sized.


I still love this poem and have enjoyed reading it to my son every year. And I'm not at all put off by the fact that Santa is a tiny little elf rather than a human sized coke-drinking overweight man. Santa is still Santa, after all.


[To read my previous Silly Christmas Lyric commentary, check out 2012 (Santa Claus is Coming to Town) 2011 (Frosty the Snowman), 2010 (Here Comes Santa Claus) 2009 (I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus), 2008 (Silent Night), 2007 (Silver Bells) and the original 2006 (The Christmas Song)]

Silly Christmas Lyric Meme: Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

Half a dozen years ago I started a silly Christmas lyric meme where I take a song we hear countless times during the holiday season and discuss something that confuses me about it or is worth exploring if merely for the humour . . . (feel free to play along and share your own silly thoughts about Christmas lyrics on your own blog)

The Rules: Pick a Christmas lyric that inspires silly thought and discuss it. Then either tag people or simply invite your readers to chime in with their own silliness.

Feel free to use the "Cousin Eddie" image by copying the following code and replacing the '(' and ')' with '<' and '>' :

(a href="http://markleslie.blogspot.com/2006/12/mark-leslies-silly-christmas-lyric.html")(img src="http://static.flickr.com/136/321235351_90abf16624_m.jpg" alt="Mark Leslie's Silly Christmas Lyric meme" /)



The Song: Santa Claus is Coming to Town (Sometimes written as "Comin'" rather than "Coming.") Written by John Frederick Coots and Haven Gillespie , first sung on Eddie Cantor's radio show in November 1934 and recorded by such artists as Tom Stacks, Tommy Dorsey and Bruce Springsteen.


Lyrics in Question: "You better watch out! You better not cry! You better not pout - I'm telling you why: Santa Claus is coming to town."  and  "He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake."

The Comment: The song opens with "you better watch out!" - isn't that enough to immediately put a person on the edge of their seat, not to mention a child who might already be a little bit concerned that a fat stranger in a red suit is going to spend a single night performing a series of benevolent home invasions completely undetected while everybody is sleeping.

Yes, I know he's an altruistic jolly old elf of a man. But it's got to be a little bit disconcerting to consider that no matter how securely you lock your home up, this guy will find a way in - even if there isn't a fireplace to sneak in through.

But not only that -- he's watching you, monitoring you, perhaps even stalking your activities at all times. And he goes completely undetected - like a Facebook lurker who monitors your every activity yet never comments or posts, not even indicating their presence with a simple click of that oh so alluring "Like" button.  It doesn't matter if you're awake or sleeping, the man has his eye on you.  Not sure about you, but I just got a "Big Brother" kind of shudder thinking about that.

I do remember, even when I was a child and was singing this song, feeling that odd sensation of wondering how this guy could possibly have eyes on all of us. Is he some middle-aged guy with no job living in his parents basement and spending all day on the internet monitoring everyone using millions of hidden nanny cams, his fingers permanently stained from the steady diet of Doritos and Cheetos? (That could explain why he's so large) No, he's more likely a hermit who does live at the North Pole with an army of elves and they use some sort of omnipotence to monitor the world's children, keeping top secret lists of anything you do that might taint your record and reduce your chances to get that gift you were really hoping for.

Seriously -- it's a wonder kids can even sleep after hearing this song. I still have trouble sleeping, wondering if Santa still monitors everyone, and not just the children.  (Admittedly, my stocking is always full, so it means I must have done more good than bad each year -- [huge sigh of relief])



What about you? Are you with me on just how scary this song might be for kids? Perhaps it's another song that has always bothered you. Steal this idea for your own blog or share your thoughts in a comment here. Have fun, be goofy. Go ahead, it's okay. But remember, Santa IS watching you . . .

[To read my previous Silly Christmas Lyric commentary, check out 2011 (Frosty the Snowman), 2010 (Here Comes Santa Claus) 2009 (I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus), 2008 (Silent Night), 2007 (Silver Bells) and the original 2006 (The Christmas Song)]

Context is King

Sigh, I just got a nasty sounding request from Google Adsense to take down the offensive content on a blog post entitled "That Little Faggot's Got His Own Jet Airplane"

There's a screen shot about the post below.  For the record, as I clearly state in the original post, I'm quoting from the song "Money for Nothing" by Dire Straits, mentioning a new items about a decades old song being censored and make sure I'm clear to define myself as against homophobia.  Some of my best friends are gay and some of my family members are gay and I love them all dearly.  Further in the post, I walk through all the other potentially offensive terms in the song, yes, poking fun at the situation.

Here's the email from Google AdSense telling me to remove the offensive content or else . . .

The most frustrating thing about this is that there is no indication that a human actually read this to find it offensive, and no way for me to explain that I'm using a derogatory term quoted from a song lyric in order to discuss the concept of censorship.

It's all about the CONTEXT, people.  Context is king.

For the record, I'm not changing that blog post. I like what I have written and I stand behind it.

I'm also not changing this one either.

Too bad for me.

Silly Christmas Lyric Meme: Frosty The Snowman

Back in 2006 I started a silly Christmas lyric meme where I take a song we hear countless times during the holiday season and discuss something that confuses me about it or is worth exploring if merely for the humour . . . (feel free to play along and share your own silly thoughts about Christmas lyrics on your own blog)

The Rules: Pick a Christmas lyric that inspires silly thought and discuss it. Then either tag people or simply invite your readers to chime in with their own silliness.

Feel free to use the "Cousin Eddie" image by copying the following code and replacing the '(' and ')' with '<' and '>' :

(a href="http://markleslie.blogspot.com/2006/12/mark-leslies-silly-christmas-lyric.html")(img src="http://static.flickr.com/136/321235351_90abf16624_m.jpg" alt="Mark Leslie's Silly Christmas Lyric meme" /)



The Song: Frosty the Snowman. Written by Walter "Jack" Rollins and Steve Nelson and first recorded by Gene Autry in 1950. (Original title "Frosty the Snow Man")


Lyrics in Question: "He led them down the streets of town right to the traffic cop. He only paused a moment when he heard him holler "Stop!"

The Comment:  Before I dive into the lyrics I must confess that the song has always confused me. I've often questioned why Frosty would be a jolly, happy soul. I mean, sure, if the hat had some magic in it and brought Frosty to life, what sort of life would it really be? I explored that in a dark humour story I published a long time ago called "That Old Silk Hat They Found" - the story looks at what "life" might really be like for poor Frosty . . . born to the world with no legs to romp around on and feeble twigs for arms . . . . you can listen to the story for free via a podcast or even read the ebook version in my new ebook Snowman Shivers, which contains two of my snowman horror stories. Available on Amazon and Smashwords.

But enough of the self-promotion . . . on to my "over the top" analysis of the lyrics.

I think that there's evidence Frosty is a delinquent and a bad influence. After all, the moment he is created he goes thumping around over the hills of snow - one might imagine just how wreckless he is being, the kids following him as if he's some sort of Pied Piper figure, likely mimicking him in his wanton destructive behaviour instead of spending time with their family or perhaps even studying quietly, reading, volunteering at a soup kitchen or attending mass.

Frosty even admits that he's here for a good time, not a long time. 

"Let's run and we'll have some fun," he says. "Before I melt away."

In the manner of bad influence rock stars, his melting away is an obvious ode to the concept of it being better to burn out than to rust. It's all about short-term living big.

He obviously won't have to own up to the consequences of his inhibitions and can run wild, leaving the children to clean up the mess he leaves behind as he runs here and there, all around the square laughing as the children try to chase him down.

His biggest indiscretion, of course, is the example he sets for the kids when he disobeys the traffic cop in the song. Instead of following the police officer's orders, Frosty merely pauses a moment, then, obviously, continues his horseplay, showing the kids that it's okay to run wild and carefree, paying no attention to any sort of law and order.

Of course, the clincher is that, at the end of the song, you can imagine him saying, in his best Arnold Schwarzenegger voice, the line made famous in the original Terminator movie:  "I'll be back! (again some day")

I say we should ban this song because of the terrible example it sets for kids.

What about you? Are you with me on just how nasty and terrible an influence Frosty can be on the kids? Perhaps it's another song. Steal this idea for your own blog or share your thoughts in a comment here. Have fun, be goofy. Go ahead, it's okay. Frosty would want you to do so . . .

[To read my previous Silly Christmas Lyric commentary, check out 2010 (Here Comes Santa Claus) 2009 (I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus), 2008 (Silent Night), 2007 (Silver Bells) and the original 2006 (The Christmas Song)]

Silly Christmas Lyric Meme: Here Comes Santa Claus

In 2006 I started a silly Christmas lyric meme where I take a song we hear countless times and point out a part of it that makes we wonder, confuses me or is worth exploring if merely for the humour of it . . . (feel free to play along and share your own silly thoughts about Christmas lyrics on your own blog)

The Rules: Pick a Christmas lyric that inspires silly thought and discuss it. Then either tag people or simply invite your readers to chime in with their own silliness.

Feel free to use the "Cousin Eddie" image by copying the following code and replacing the '(' and ')' with '<' and '>' :

(a href="http://markleslie.blogspot.com/2006/12/mark-leslies-silly-christmas-lyric.html")(img src="http://static.flickr.com/136/321235351_90abf16624_m.jpg" alt="Mark Leslie's Silly Christmas Lyric meme" /)


 
The Song: Here Comes Santa Claus. Originally written by Gene Autry (1907-1998) and Oakley Haldeman (1909-1986) and first recorded by Gene Autry in 1947.

Lyrics In Question: "So jump in bed and cover your head 'cause Santa Claus comes tonight."

The Comment:  Before I dig into the lyrics I should mention that I've long been interested in the juxtaposition between the religious and the fantastical elements of Christmas in this song.  It mentions peace on earth coming to all if you just follow the light, hanging your stockings and saying your prayers, and Santa knowing that we're all God's children.  While there are Christmas songs that either focus on Santa or carols that focus on the birth of Jesus and religious origins of Christmas, it's rare for a song to do both. This one interestingly does just that.

But let's get down to the silly lyrical analysis. 

Given today's over-protective society and the fact that we can't trust people to be smart enough to make their own decisions and not do something stupid, I'm wondering when parent groups or some other organization seeking to make the world a better place might attempt to ban this song.

"Why?" you ask. (And before you attempt to guess, no it's not religious fanatics upset about Santa getting in the way of the real meaning of Christmas, nor non-religious fanatics pissed that God, peace and prayers are mentioned in a fun Santa song)

Well, isn't the reason obvious? I can already imagine people shouting out that his song can lead to needless injuries and mass suffication of children all over the world.

After all, jumping in bed is a frowned-upon activity that can lead to bruises and broken bones.  And if you were to cover your head with your blankets and sheets you might run out of oxygen in the night while sleeping. And that can be dangerous.

Thus, this song, in the minds of certain public interest groups, is a danger to society, should be removed from rotation in radio play (yes, even the cute Elvis version of the song), and in it's place public service announcements should remind children that while it's good to be asleep when Santa comes, there is no need to "jump in bed" (which can lead to serious injury) and "cover your head" (because that, of course, can lead to suffication)

So far, the song isn't banned and can still be heard on radio stations far and wide. So enjoy it for now, because you never know when someone might take offense to the inherint dangers in the song and attempt to save us all from having to be exposed to the dangerous instructions within.

What about you? Does this song inspire silly thoughts? Perhaps it's another song. Steal this idea for your own blog or share your thoughts in a comment here.

[To read my previous Silly Christmas Lyric commentary, check out 2009 (I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus), 2008 (Silent Night), 2007 (Silver Bells) and the original 2006 (The Christmas Song)]

It Snowed

Okay, so there's not much snow around here yet. But there's a song that has been getting a lot of airtime on local radio stations that has certainly added to the wonderful feeling I normally get from a beautiful snowfall.

It's called "It Snowed" and is by Canadian singer/songwriter Meaghan Smith.

Francine, Alexander and I first heard it one evening last week while we were driving around looking at the beautiful Christmas lights.

The instant we heard it, Fran and I both fell in love with the song's playful sense and jazzy styling. The lyrics begins like this . . .

"It snowed, it snowed, it snowed last night
Everything is sparkling with diamond light.
The road is buried four feet high
Honey, let's play hooky 'cause it snowed last night"

I thought, at first that it was Feist -- partly because of the similar voice and partly because, "It Snowed" was an instantly addictive song in my mind, the same way I reacted to Feist's "1, 2, 3, 4"

Deciding I wanted to find the album this song was on and buy the CD for Francine for Christmas, I began my quest. Alas, I learned that the only available CD was being done as a giveaway at Meaghan Smith appearances at Barnes & Noble on her Dec 2009 tour.

But the good news was that the Holiday Sampler "Wish Upon A Star" which contains 4 songs by Meaghan, was available for purchase on iTunes -- so I bought it. Each song is similarly delightful. I'll be looking for Meaghan's other work to purchase as well.

Here's the video for Meaghan's version of "Silver Bells" which appears on the sampler.





There's also a clip of Meaghan singing her original song "It Snowed" at a benefit concert ("Feed Nova Scotia") back in November 2007, right here and here is a video with clips from the holiday sampler.

Careful. Her music is wonderfully addictive. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Silly Christmas Lyric Meme: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

A few years ago I started a silly Christmas lyric meme where I take a song that we hear countless times during the Christmas season and point out a part of it that makes we wonder, confuses me or is worth exploring if merely for the humour of it . . . (feel free to play along and share your own silly thoughts about Christmas lyrics on your own blog)

The Rules: Pick a Christmas lyric that you've always had a question about and discuss it. Then either tag one or more people or either tag nobody and invite your readers to tag themselves and enjoy discussing the subject on their own.

Feel free to use the "Cousin Eddie" image by copying the following code and replacing the '(' and ')' with '<' and '>' :

(a href="http://markleslie.blogspot.com/2006/12/mark-leslies-silly-christmas-lyric.html")(img src="http://static.flickr.com/136/321235351_90abf16624_m.jpg" alt="Mark Leslie's Silly Christmas Lyric meme" /)




The Song: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus. Originally written by Tommie Connor - (1904-1993) and first recorded by Jimmy Boyd (1939-2009) in 1952.

Lyrics In Question: "Oh what a laugh it would have been if Daddy had only seen Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night."

The Comment: I get it. It's a cute song. But not only has it always disturbed me, but it's evidence of something that can easily happy when an adult writer tries to write from a child's point of view -- they can't divorce themselves far enough away from their adult POV and experience, and don't properly capture the true innocence of a child's POV.

The problem, to me, is that the song relies on an adult point of view in order for it to be cute and funny. From a child's point of view I can't find it anything but utterly disturbing.

First of all, when I was a child and heard this song, I found it rather confusing. Why, if a child snuck downstairs in the middle of the night and saw his or her Mommy kissing a stranger in their living room would they find it cute? Is Mommy cheating on Daddy? Why is a child singing about it? What the hell is so funny about that?

Worse, of course, is that it's not entirely a stranger. No, it's not just the mailman, or the pool boy, or some other young hunk who Mommy might be having a tryst with, but it's one of the most trusted adult figures in a child's universe: Santa Claus. The ultimate trustworthy, lovable, generous and kind adult in a child's mind. I mean, one hardly ever threatens a child with the fact that Mommy or Daddy know they're misbehaving -- but threaten with a quick call to Santa and the child's particular flavour of unwanted behaviour often unsours rather quickly.

So how disturbing, then, to discover one of your parents cheating on the other by kissing Santa Claus. It's like a double-betrayal. How in the hell can a child find that cute? And how would a child think it would have been a laugh if Daddy saw this? (Unless, of course, Mommy and Daddy are happily separated and honestly enjoy seeing the other person happy; or perhaps they have some sort of completely open marriage, and it's okay for this kind of thing to happen. But still, not in front of the kids)

Again, the cuteness of the song comes from realizing that the Santa in the song isn't the real Santa, but, in fact, Daddy dressed up as Santa. So, for a child to actually GET this song they have to have a completely different understanding of Christmas than most young children usually have. It's always a bittersweet thing when children get to that age where the magic of Christmas changes (Hopefully, it changes from the magic of believing in the goodness of a jolly old elf in a red suit to believing in the inherent goodness within all of us and doing one's best to spread peace, love and joy) But I mean, WOW -- what a terrible way for the magical childhood fantasy to come crashing down.

I suppose one of the ways to monitor which particular magic of Christmas a child believes in is to gage their reaction to this song. If they GET IT, then they've lost something they'll never get back. If they don't get it, you can smile and hope that it'll be a long time before they get it and that hopefully the concept of the song doesn't disturb them too much in the meantime.

What about you? Does this song disturb you too? Or perhaps it's another song.

[To read my previous Silly Christmas Lyric commentary, check out 2008 (Silent Night), 2007 (Silver Bells) and the original 2006 (The Christmas Song)]

He Was Zombie When Zombie Wasn't Cool

A lot is going to be written about Michael Jackson, his life, his music, his bizarre personal life, his legacy. It will be interesting to read and absorb -- just as, last night, the radio station I had on in the car was interesting in that they played back to back Jackson songs all night -- and not once did they have to repeat anything, and not once did they play a song that wasn't great.

It was in listening to his music that it hit me. He was gone. But he left an incredible wave of music in his wake.

Like Elvis and The Beatles, he had a huge impact on the music industry, adding volumes of different songs to the playlists over his many decades as a musician.

My strongest memories are how his music videos, like "Thriller" ushered in a whole new realm of appreciation for music in the shiny new MTV world of the 80's. I remember sitting captivated and watching the mini-movie video for Thriller and, with the rest of the world, marveling at the story being told within that 13 or 14 minutes of short film.

And yes, I know, there are all kinds of stories about his personal life. But right now, I'm more interested in the music. Yes, there is no disputing the fact that Michael Jackson was a complex man -- but sometimes, the message of his music was simple and powerful.

"I'm starting with the man in the mirror.
I'm asking him to change his ways.
And no message could have been any clearer.
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and make a change."
- "Man in the Mirror" - 1988

The King of Pop is dead. Long live the King.

Working For The Weekend

A buddy of mine from university recently posted a reference to an old Loverboy song in his status update. It's one of those types of Facebook status updates that I'm fond of -- the kind that make you pause for a moment and stirs up a bit of brain activity -- this can easily be achieved without too much effort when you borrow a line or two from a song and put THAT into your updates.

I mean, status updates and Twitter are a neat way to broadcast to the world things that you're currently doing or working on and sometimes they're fun if you're actually doing something interesting.

But let's face it, does anybody really care that Bob from Denver is washing the dishes right now, or that Sally from Saskatoon is watching a rerun of "Who's The Boss?"

Perhaps if Bob was spending the afternoon at the skydiving classes his girlfriend bought him for Christmas or Sally was working on a novelization of that old television show, those would be interesting things. But sometimes those mundane status updates/tweets can be a bit tiring.

"Oh look, John is sitting on the crapper right now."

"Hey, check it out, Samantha is having eggs and toast for breakfast. For the third day in a row."

"Sorry, no time for that, I'm too busy keeping updated on Fred. Apparently he's doing really well on Guitar Hero."

"What are you guys talking about? I'm riveted by Todd's angst over his hang-nail."

But I digress. What I mean to say is I rather enjoy it when people tweet or use their Facebook status updates for either actual interesting or unique things (rather than the daily mundane things), or just to inject a little bit of humour into the world. Let's face it, the world is a pretty serious place with tons of negative things going on all over -- a little bit of humour in small shots is some pretty decent medicine.

And thus back to goofy and silly Facebook status updates that liberate lyrics from music. I always find those fun because there's an ability for others to easily recognize the song you're using and perhaps make a game out of trying to determine the artist and song that you're referencing. A short, silly distraction in one's day, but something that can be a little fun (and doesn't require you to install yet another cluttering application to your profile).

But sometimes I find myself getting TOO distracted on minor things.

Like when my buddy referenced the Loverboy song. (See, I take sidetracks, but occasionally I actually get back to the subject matter at hand)

He was working on the weekend. But rather than just stating it in that boring, mundane way, he injected it with a bit of fun uniqueness and referenced the Loverboy song "Working for the Weekend"

And that's where I started thinking about those lyrics.

Everybody's working for the weekend
Everybody wants a little romance
Everybody's goin' off the deep end
Everybody needs a second chance
- Loverboy "Working for the Weekend" from Get Lucky, 1981

You see, I'd always thought that the song was referencing the fact that everyone is working in anticipation of the weekend.

IE, they drudge through their week days mindful of the fact that when Friday evening comes, they're free to enjoy life again or "come out tonight" and try to "get it right" or, as the album title the song suggest, try to get lucky.

I always thought the song meant they were working for (ie, for the purpose of) the weekend the way that David Wilcox is "Layin' Pipe" (forgetting the double entendre for a moment and assume he's working a tough construction job) to satisfy his woman with expensive tastes by buying her "the latest things, a diamond ring, a car with an ultra-glide." Like Mr. Wilcox, who (again forgetting the double entendres throughout the song), is working a long, exhausting night shift and taking ten minute breaks to have a cigarette. Wilcox is working for his woman the way Loverboy is working for the weekend.

I figured if the song was about working ON the weekend (as in working Saturday and Sunday), that it'd sound more like Dolly Parton's 9 to 5 (with a weekend kind of twist, of course) and less like trying to get lucky.

But that's just me.

Do you see how I can get distracted and find myself a few moments of silly amusement all because one of my cool dude friends decided to have a little bit of fun with his Facebook status update?

But that's a far better thing than if he dediced to use the status update to simply complain that his hemorrhoids were itchy.

Isn't it?

Silly Christmas Lyric Meme: Silent Night

A couple of years ago I started a silly Christmas lyric meme where I take a song that we hear countless times during the Christmas season and point out a part of it that makes we wonder, confuses me or is worth exploring if merely for the humour of it . . . (feel free to play along and share your own silly thoughts about Christmas lyrics on your own blog)

The Rules: Pick a Christmas lyric that you've always had a question about and discuss it. Then either tag one or more people or either tag nobody and invite your readers to tag themselves and enjoy discussing the subject on their own.

Feel free to use the "Cousin Eddie" image by copying the following code and replacing the '(' and ')' with '<' and '>' :

(a href="http://markleslie.blogspot.com/2006/12/mark-leslies-silly-christmas-lyric.html")(img src="http://static.flickr.com/136/321235351_90abf16624_m.jpg" alt="Mark Leslie's Silly Christmas Lyric meme" /)


The Song: Silent Night (originally written in German as Stille Nacht by the Austrian priest Father Josef Mohr and composed by Franz Xaver Gruber. In 1863, John Freeman Young translated it into the English version sung today)

Lyrics In Question: "Holy infant so tender and mild."

The Comment: First of all, I find this song, overall, to be a peaceful song inspiring reflection. The melody is soothing and sometimes when performed it gives me an overall sense of calm and belief that all is right with the world.

And then there's the fact of what this simple line stirs up, thanks to Francine mentioning it the other night. I understand what "tender and mild" is supposed to convey. But it can come across as if one is trying to describe a pot roast.

Q: "How do you find the pot roast?"

A: "It's absolutely delicious. It's so tender."

Q: "You don't find the seasoning too overpowering?"

A: "Not at all. It's quite mild. This roast is so perfectly tender and mild."

Q: "So you find the meal quite satisfying?"

A: "Definitely. After such a fine meal I'm going to sleep in heavenly peace."

Q: "Sleep in heavenly peace?"

A: "Exactly."


I know, I know, I've likely offended a whole group of people, particularly people from my own faith. But ever since Fran mentioned the "tender and mild" thing, I can't help thinking about how while it does describe an infant slumbering so wonderfully, it also stirs up culinary references. And it leads perfectly to a Catholic ritual which kind of ties in and which I have actually used in a horror story I wrote called "From Out of the Night" which was originally published in 1997 then reprinted in my collection One Hand Screaming in 2004.

The Blessed Sacrament (or Holy Communion) commemorates the final meal that Jesus shared with his disciples before being crucified. He gave them bread and wine and said to it was his body and blood and they should eat it in remembrance of him. I understand the sacrament, but, stepping back and looking at it perhaps from an "outsider's" view, it seems an awful lot like a type of cannibalism of our savior. That's the element I refer to in "From Out of the Night" - a horror story in which I have a paranoid protagonist believing that the Catholics next door are cannibals who consume their savior as part of their ritual. I was tempted to title this post: "Cannibalistic Christmas" but might just save that for another dark humour horror story.

If you're curious to read my previous Christmas Lyric memes (likely the less offensive ones because in them I don't toy around with anyone's faith), here are links to the original 2006 (The Christmas Song) and the 2007 (Silver Bells) posts.

And, of course, please feel free to play along yourself and let me know you've done so by leaving a comment here.