Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Allow Me To Be Blunt

I was listening to James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful” the other day on the radio. When I first heard it I thought it was a sweet song with a touching melody. But now that I’ve actually paid attention to the lyrics, it makes me think: “Borderline Stalker.”

Admit it ladies. Sure, it’s a nice song about a guy who spots a beautiful woman, and perhaps they even have a moment where their eyes meet for a split second. But then he goes and writes a song about it.

“But,” you’re saying, “It’s romantic and sweet.” Sure, I’ll give you that. What woman wouldn’t love to have a song written about her? But it also smacks of obsessive and creepy. Yeah, it’s cute and tender in a song, but think about real life. This guy spots a beautiful woman and then makes something completely out of nothing -- yes, in exactly the manner of an obsessive stalker. And because he’s gifted at writing music it’s suddenly romantic?

This is a stranger who happens to be a beautiful woman, Mack. And, as you state in the song, she’s already with someone. But never mind that. What about the fact that you know absolutely nothing about her apart from a physical trait or two. What is her passion in life? What are her goals? What makes her happy? What is her favourite song? Movie? Colour? Hmm, didn’t think you knew that. And what about the "plan" that you mention you've got? A plan to kill her boyfriend and thus have her all to yourself? Sorry, I’m stuck on the whole stalker thing.

Every time I hear the song now I can’t help but replace a line in my head.

I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

In my mind, the last line goes: "So I think I might stalk you.

You're pitiful, it's true.


Ryan Oakley said...

You ever read the missed connections page on craigslist?

Anonymous said...

I think he said he wrote it when he ran into his ex girlfriend in the subway. You had to think that he could have written a song about how fat her ... was getting and never be famous or write a song that celebrated her and make millions deceiving us all along.

212designs said...

there is a stalker in everyone

it's just finding the right combination to set it free.


i had a pizza delivered to a guy who was sitting in his car watching my house one time.

LOL THAT was funny.

Ameratis said...

Page 456, Section VI of the Stalker's Handbook and Guide to Professional Stalking states:

Song Writing:
In such an event that your subject inspires a song, such measures should be taken to insure that proper grammatical and rhythmic usage is conducted if the search for publishing is to be pursued. Also all legal attachments with song publishing should be observed.
Remember rule number 3: Everything done by a stalker reflects on all the other stalkers.

I guess he got away with it because the song was grammatically and rhythmically correct?

Crazy as ever,
The Imp ;)

Franny said...

I totally love that song! Someone told me it was about anorexia, and then suicide, and now stalking. I can't take it anymore! The truth must be told!

Its about his pet pigeon.

(Heard it froma friend who was told by their cousin who is a buddy of James Blunt's neighbor)

Lara said...


If that's how your mind works, perhaps you should be writing horror stories.

Oh wait.

Never mind, forget I said that!

Kimberly said...

the other thing is...what if this girl that he's only seen for a moment or two, what if on the inside she is some monstrous bitch!?!?!?

Kinda ruins it for ya doesn't it? He should really find some shy, cute/homey girl to stalk. They're always nicer.

MG said...

lmao!!! I'll never be able to hear it the other way again....

BTW, have you seen the video? WTF?