Allow Me To Be Blunt

I was listening to James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful” the other day on the radio. When I first heard it I thought it was a sweet song with a touching melody. But now that I’ve actually paid attention to the lyrics, it makes me think: “Borderline Stalker.”

Admit it ladies. Sure, it’s a nice song about a guy who spots a beautiful woman, and perhaps they even have a moment where their eyes meet for a split second. But then he goes and writes a song about it.

“But,” you’re saying, “It’s romantic and sweet.” Sure, I’ll give you that. What woman wouldn’t love to have a song written about her? But it also smacks of obsessive and creepy. Yeah, it’s cute and tender in a song, but think about real life. This guy spots a beautiful woman and then makes something completely out of nothing -- yes, in exactly the manner of an obsessive stalker. And because he’s gifted at writing music it’s suddenly romantic?

This is a stranger who happens to be a beautiful woman, Mack. And, as you state in the song, she’s already with someone. But never mind that. What about the fact that you know absolutely nothing about her apart from a physical trait or two. What is her passion in life? What are her goals? What makes her happy? What is her favourite song? Movie? Colour? Hmm, didn’t think you knew that. And what about the "plan" that you mention you've got? A plan to kill her boyfriend and thus have her all to yourself? Sorry, I’m stuck on the whole stalker thing.

Every time I hear the song now I can’t help but replace a line in my head.

I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

In my mind, the last line goes: "So I think I might stalk you.”

You're pitiful, it's true.