Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Wham, Bam, Thank You Spam!

I keep getting these emails from a Nigeria man who asks me not to feel sorry for him, but is hoping, in good faith that I will listen to his plight. He is the son of a late general and is trying to keep vindictive government officials from taking his father's vast sums of wealth. If I can provide him with just my name, address, phone and fax number as well as bank account information, he will have his security firm deposit his father's 75,000,000 (seventy five million) dollars into my bank account. If I can help him, he assures me I can keep a reasonable percentage of this sum once the transaction is completed.

What, does he think that I’m a complete idiot?

Why would I do that?

Especially since I have this other email from a Saudi princess, who is offering, for the same details, 5% of her family’s 3 billion dollar riches. I'm no dummy. I'd rather take the sure thing, the 5% of 3 billion that an undetermined percentage of 75 million.


Kimberly said...

ahh well, you see, complete idiocy is an international epidemic.

glad to hear you haven't got the virus!

Franny said...

Those scammers are the lowest crud of the universe. I think this calls for a curse, and fast:

May the seven terriers of hell sit upon the spool of their breasts and bark in at their soul-cages!

That should do it!

Magdalena said...

Whoa there ... back off, Mark! Those people are my special contacts and they too have quiet secretly entrusted me with their fortunes.

But seriously, the hilarious part is the detail of the letters, they make you feel so important, no? It's like you won the lottery without even buying a ticket :P


Pete Mitchell said...

Ah man, I feel so ostracised. You know you're poor when even the Nigerian guy doesn't bother sending you his spam.