HNT - Closed For Inventory

The title says it all. This week at work has so far involved two 14 hour days counting inventory at two of our locations. With the counting of our largest location starting this morning, those 14 hours are likely to stretch into 16 or 18 hours for the next two days . . . wish me luck.

Gotta Love The Public Lending Right Commission

The other day I received a cheque from The Public Lending Right Commission (AKA PLR Commision) for a period of time in 2007.

When I first saw the envelope in my mailbox my heart dropped a little. It was some sort of government form, and those typically don't bring good news. The last government form received was a notification that I'd made an error in filling out one of the forms on Francine's income tax last year, and we owed them more money.

I'd completely forgotten about what this great entity was. The PLR Commission distributes annual payments to Canadian authors for the presence of their books in Canadian public libraries. These payments represent compensation for the free access Canadians enjoy to Canadian literature.

The PLR Commission electronically samples the holdings of selected public libraries across Canada.

Because my book One Hand Screaming was found in 3 of the 7 library systems sampled, I received a cheque that was actually greater than any other single royalty payment I received in 2007.

Gotta love that. Gotta love The Public Lending Right Commission.

Unlike Access copyright, they actually work hard to get the money back into author hands. (Read the arts technica article on the report entitled "Authors get short end of copyright collective stick" or Michael Geist's blog article entitled "Independent report blasts Access Copyright Over Lack of Transparency" for more information on that matter)

But back to the good people who make up The PLR Commission. If you're a Canadian author with a book of poetry, fiction, drama, children's literature, nonfiction of scholarly work, you really should check them out to see if your work is eligible.

It doesn't take long to fill out the forms and submit the required information. In my case, it was definitely time well invested.

New Story: Active Reader

I've had a new short story go up online recently. You can read the entire story for free online.

It's a short contemporary horror tale about a disturbed young man who works as a bookseller. No, no, no, you've got the wrong idea. It's entirely fiction and has nothing to do with yours truly -- except for the bookseller part of it. Okay, and the disturbed part, too. But I don't think I'd be mistaken for a young man any longer.


The story is called Active Reader and appears in the second edition of the online ezine Dissections: The Journal of Contemporary Horror. Dissections is an international horror and dark fantasy e-journal that provides an opportunity for academics, critics and creative writers and artists to publish alongside each other.

I thought this would be the perfect place to premier Active Reader. The story follows the twisted activities of a bookstore manager who uses the discount loyalty card program for his own disturbing needs. The name of the book club card was inspired by the then called "Avid Reader" loyalty card the company I worked for at the time was promoting. I just couldn't resist playing on that name for my story which is a bit of a cautionary tale about membership cards and customer tracking programs.

Throughout the story I purposely injected references to various different magazines that my stories have appeared in over the years; I also managed to plant a few references to the titles of some of my stories in the tale. (I've always been a fan of hiding stuff in my writing for people to discover) I also featured my good friend Carol Weekes as one of the brilliant horror authors that my main character "collects" -- creating a fictitious story collection of hers for the purposes of my plot, but also managing to build in a plug for "Walter's Crossing" -- her first published novel. (This story was originally written several years before Carol sold that novel to a publisher and I'll gladly hand-sell any one of Carol's pieces of writing at any time -- she is simply that talented a writer)

Click here to read Active Reader. It's less than 2000 words long. But do be warned -- it does contain a tiny bit of graphic violence and a scene that might be disturbing to some readers.

If you do read it, by all means, please leave a comment here or email me [mark (at) markleslie (dot) ca] to let me know what you think.

Debbie Does Reality

Francine and I were flipped around the tube the other night, not sure what we were going to watch, when we stumbled upon a program on Showcase called "Debbie Does Dallas . . . (Again). "

Yes, it was referring to that classic porn movie from 1978 called Debbie Does Dallas.

Apparently, it's a reality series following director Paul "PT" Thomas as he works with a group of porn actors, all of whom want the coveted role of "Debbie" in the film in a re-make of that classic porn flick.

It wasn't quite as riveting as some reality shows can be, but it was amusing to see a reality program based on the making of a porn film. Having seen a bit of the behind the scenes of the making of this movie, I don't think they're being true to the original 1978 classic -- it looks like they're taking the modern version of "Debbie" in an entirely new direction.

We watched it for about fifteen minutes and had to admit it was slightly more interesting than this season's version of Trump's ongoing Apprentice reality series "The Celebrity Apprentice."

Da Count - Fort Alexander 2008

Every year, Alexander and I enjoy creating "Fort Alexander" in our front yard. That's why, whenever we actually get snow around these parts, I'm beside myself with joy.

You see, I might have physically gotten older, but I've never outgrown my passion for making snow forts and snow tunnels.

So the fact that Alexander loves to play outside in the snow and loves digging forts and tunnels allows me to recapture that simple joy from my childhood.

There is, of course, an art to building snow forts. For example, you can't just build a snow tunnel the moment after shoveling. You usually have to let it sit for 24 hours. A good rule of thumb is you want the snow to compress and slightly melt in the afternoon sun of one day, then settle and compact together in the overnight cold. So usually, by the second day, your snow is compacted enough to build some semi-decent shapes in it that don't just crumble.


The exception, of course, would be snow that is packed down from a snow blower. Usually within an hour of my Dad having blown the snow at our house in Levack when I was a kid -- and these were often six or seven foot high piles of snow, tightly packed down -- I was able to dig my tunnels through snow that didn't immediately collapse. When I was a kid, I remember digging an entire series of connected tunnels and rooms. And I just couldn't get enough out of playing outside in the snow.


It makes me worry tremendously for kids these days -- I rarely see many other kids playing outside in the snow in our neighbourhood -- perhaps it's the climate we live in. Hamilton doesn't get a proper winter, not like the proper winter that Sudbury or Ottawa get. So perhaps the kids simply aren't used to the occasional snowfall that seems to send the entire city here in a tizzy. Perhaps, like their parents, they rush inside to hide from that strange white stuff falling from the sky, and dream of those hot summer days. Not me! I like my seasons diverse! Bring on winter! Bring on spring! Bring on summer! Bring on fall! Make each as intense as they come and I'm a happy little person.

With the really nasty COLD snap we had earlier this week, the snow refroze and settled to such an extent that it was extremely hard and crusty -- and yes, when I got home from work, despite the freezing temperatures, Alexander was raring to get out there and play in the snow yet again. So I was able to actually carve properly shaped stairways into the snow fort. We ended up creating 3 stairways in and out of the fort (2 from the outside up to the top rim, and one spiral-shaped stairway down into it) Of course, the fort also has a slide to get into it, and Alexander delights in just crash landing in whatever way he'd like.



So, if it isn't already obvious, this week I'm counting the fun I'm able to have with Alexander working on his snow fort. And the fact that he's still young enough to want to let me play with him while building this make-believe fortress of solitude in our front yard. I'm pretty sure a day will come when I'm out there building Fort Alexander in the front yard (perhaps Fort Alexander 2018, when my son is thirteen years old) and he'll walk by the driveway on his way to the mall to meet his friends, carefully averting his eyes so as not to make eye contact with his crazy old man. But for now. Vive La Snow! Vive Fort Alexander!

HNT - I Heart Valentine's Day

Themed boxers. Gotta love them.


And gotta love my wife, Francine, who always makes sure I have fun themed boxers for almost every occasion. In fact, I have no less than 4 different pairs of Valentine-themed boxer shorts. I was debating posing in the red heart pair or my "Homer - Irresistible" boxers. But Os's theme of RED HNT won, since there's simply more red in this pair.

Happy HNT!

Krakatoa

Yesterday morning, while moving through the pitch dark bedroom to kiss my wife goodbye before I headed off to work, I misjudged where I was walking and slammed my foot into the wooden trunk at the end of our bed.

Wooden trunk: 1
Mark's toe: 0

Not one of my smartest moves, but it certainly smarts.

I don't think I actually broke the toe, which was throbbing all day yesterday, but I must have come close, because bending it or even touching it provides a nasty jolt of pain. This morning the swelling and the coloration has come down quite a bit, the most interesting combination of black, purple and red that I've sported in a long, long time. I should have taken a picture of it yesterday when the colours were more spectacular, because the blurry shot I took this morning just doesn't do it justice. But then again, I'm quite happy to never have to see those bruise-inspired colours again.

I'll Drink To That

I bought a bottle of 16 year old Lagavulin single malt scotch this weekend and enjoyed its hearty smoky and peaty flavour, all the while shaking my head and uttering under my breath: "Thanks, Terry."

You see, I blame Terry Fallis, author of The Best Laid Plans for this newly acquired favourite drink. Or, more properly, I blame Terry's character, Angus McLintock, who regularly sipped Lavavulin in his novel, for creating in me the desire to try this scotch out.

Prior to Terry, I had Neil Peart to thank for inspiring me to seek out The Macallan after reading about it in one of his travel biographies (Ghost Rider: Travels on the Healing Road).

And years before being inspired by Terry and Neil, I was a Glenfiddich drinker and had been since my first gig as a lightning designer back at Sock'N'Buskin theatre company. I had designed the lights for Edward Albee's Lolita, and on opening night the director presented me with a bottle of it saying: "Lighting designers drink scotch." Up until that point, beer was my drink of choice -- but when I don't feel like a beer, I now turn to scotch.

I'll regularly drink scotch while writing in the late evening -- for a few main reasons. First, because drinking coffee late at night is not a good idea -- it'll simply keep me even more wired than writing makes me and I'll not get a wink of sleep when I finally turn in. Second, because I can sip it slowly and enjoy the taste and experience -- as opposed to the manner in which I very vigorously kill bottle after bottle of beer without evening noticing it; whenever I do that, I end up having too much beer and my writing gets progressively worse.

Perhaps I'm a bit too suggestive -- but I like to think that there's something special in the manner of the authors I am reading that intrigue me enough to check out a new product that inspire me to try a new drink.

Last year, when I was reading Denis Hamill's Fork in the Road I could not get the thought of having a Guinness out of my mind. And when it came to beer drinking, I hadn't tried a dark beer like Guinness in years, never actually liking it, always being more of an ale or lager drinker. However, after reading that novel, I plunged into Guinness on tap the first chance I could get, and paused to enjoy the full flavour of it -- and thanks to Denis Hamill, I now regularly enjoy Guinness as well as other richer, full bodied stouts.

But before I come off sounding like I have a drinking problem, there have also been food motivations and inspirations from books that I've read.

For example, I'll always associate reading Patricia Cornwell's Kay Scarpetta mysteries with the desire to enjoy Italian food. Regularly in the first half dozen or so of her novels, she would spend time showing her main character Kay Scarpetta fixing up some fantastic Italian dish, practically making my mouth water. In fact, I'm pretty sure she also put out a short mystery tale/cookbook one Christmas, featuring characters from her Scarpetta mysteries at a dinner party alongside some Scarpetta-inspired recipes.

And I've never been so hungry as the time I was reading Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath. So much of the novel was concerned with finding and preparing meals that I remember always feeling famished while reading the novel. Evidence, perhaps, of Steinbeck's masterful skill as a writer. (Of course, I was a student at the time, and part of the fixation on food might have had a bit to do with that as well)

Podcast With A Cliffhanger

Episode 6 of the "Getting Published with Mark Leslie" reality series on The Writing Show was posted late last week. The series has centered on my attempt to complete work on the first draft of a novel I'm calling A Canadian Werewolf in New York (or ACWWINY for short).

The series has followed me through painful sidetrack after painful sidetrack, with me barely inching forward on completion of the novel as I take various tangents on different writing projects.

For example, with Episode Six, we learn how my submission of the novelization of "I, Death" to Leisure Books went, about the sci-fi anthology I edited (North of Infinity II) becoming remaindered and what that means for the authors and the frustrating state of the price of books in Canada. There is another fine critique by Writing Show guest host (and my unpaid editor) Mick Halpin, and finally, there is a bit of a cliffhanger ending, as Mick Halpin throws down the gauntlet and challenges me to bolt for the finish of my first draft.

I respond, of course, by accepting his challenge and offering Mick a challenge of my own. All good fun and an interesting half hour episode if I do say so myself.

One of the things I am most impressed with about the episode, of course, is the editing job that was done. While the editing of each episode is always done wonderfully, it's more apparent to me in this episode because, afflicted with a nasty cold (which you can hear in my voice in the interview), I had to regularly pause and turn off my mic while having a coughing fit. Occasionally, the coughing fit overtook me before I had a chance to turn the mic off -- but you can't tell listening to the episode -- nor can you tell when, in the middle of the interview Paula got bombarded with an instant message ping at the same time while my son Alexander burst into the room and distracted me. Nope, the editing was solid and all those rough parts were nicely clipped out.

Perfect editing, a great conversation with Paula, and a fun challenge from Mick that is forcing me to plant butt in chair and get cracking on this novel. In all, lots of fun.

You can download and listen to the interview by clicking here.

A Rush Of A Flush

Francine, Alexander and I just got back from a couple of days at Great Wolf Lodge, an incredible indoor water theme park in Niagara Falls. We were celebrating Francine's birthday and thought we'd do it with a water theme, since Francine is part fish.

We had a blast checking out the many different water slides, the wave pool, the splashy fort and the other water-themed play areas. Grand fun was had by all.

But I have to admit the most intriguing time I had was when I rode on The Vortex -- a tube ride that starts off in complete darkness, with a sudden and steep drop that throws you into a giant round bowl of water, where you spin around and around, waiting for it to eventually suck you into the giant hole in the middle and down another steep chute and into the pool below.


The coolest thing about The Vortex was that it felt like I was riding in a giant toilet bowl . . . hilarious. As I was circling, I kept imagining this giant hairy butt hovering above me, and that's what kept the ride scary.

HNT - Rerun Time

Busy, busy, busy. Lots going on, lots to do. And yet, another Thursday has arrived and here I find myself without a new picture to post for Half Nekkid Thursday. Worse than that, I haven't done anything for the "Terror in Toyland" storyline (although I do have about half a dozen shots ready to be modified via Photoshop, I haven't had any time to work on putting them together).

But I just can't bear the thought of not posting something for HNT.

So I pull out from the archives, one of my favourite HNT pics -- a picture of me unmasking Darth Tater (and of course the shot that kind of got that whole "toys attack Mark" storyline thing going - so you can blame this picture for all that nonsense)


There are a few things I really like about this picture. First, I took it -- by placing the camera on my desk, angling it at me and hoping I was framed in the shot, used the index finger on my left hand to snap it -- the framing worked out quite nicely, and I particularly like the fact that I've got almost all of Darth's head in the shot (for recognition of the iconic figure from Star Wars), the mask nicely off to the side. Second, I like the expression on my face. I was hoping to go for a more startled/shocked look for humour effect, but I like the way my expression turned out. Third, the background perfectly captures who I am. There's the sketch of the skull that Francine's Grandmother drew, a calendar of pictures of Alexander, my skull Yorick and, of course, my nerdy library in the background, complete with the messy piles of books that define my chaotic organization style. (It's interesting to note that since this picture was taken a couple of years ago, the number of bookshelf units in the den has grown by two, completely covering the wall behind me to my right)

I like this shot so much I also recently sent it to Paula B, host of The Writing Show podcast, to use as the accompanying author shot in the most recent episode of "Getting Publishing With Mark Leslie" that we recorded last week and which is going to appear on the website shortly.

Nice Signal, Buddy!

One of my pet peeves involves people who don't use their turn signals while driving. It's a simple thing, really, flicking this tiny little switch on the side of your steering column that helps inform other drivers of your intent to maneuver your vehicle in a particular direction. In some cases, the use of this luxury device installed on all motor vehicles could potentially help prevent misunderstandings and possibly traffic accidents.

Of course, with the complete lack of manners or simple courtesy in today's society, putting all of the incredible effort required into signaling your turn is obviously a huge waste of a person's precious, self-important time.

While driving I often comment aloud about the other drivers, particularly when I observe boorish behaviour.

It should have been no surprise then, to hear Alexander pipe up from the back seat a few weeks ago while we were driving, and in a very loud voice, shout out: "Nice signal, BUD EEE!" This fun little phrase has since become the mantra of many of our father/son drives. Another common one is yelling out "YOU'RE WELCOME!" after politely letting someone pull into the lane in front of us and not even getting a simple wave in response from that driver. (Of course, I only ever offer that courtesy to people who are signaling that they want to move into my lane -- no signal, no courtesy from this driver. I do have to draw the line somewhere)

Alternative Fun For Snow Days

During the snow day we had on Friday (A big snow storm blew through town depositing a wonderful blanket of snow all over, and, of course, causing all kinds of school boards, community centers, etc to close down for the day) I'm noting, of course, that in the two other places where I have lived (Ottawa and Sudbury) a snow storm like this would barely have even made the news. It's all relative, and the simple fact is that people in the Greater Toronto and Hamilton area simply are not winter savy, at least in my experience.

Alexander and I enjoyed shoveling the snow several times on Friday as well as early Saturday -- I made sure to take care and move ALL of the snow from the driveway and sidewalk in front of my house into one spot on our front lawn -- the goal, of course, was the great as big a snow pile as possible so that we could create one very massive snow fort.

On Saturday and Sunday we made a cool new snowman to guard our back deck from monsters and in the front yard created a new version of Fort Alexander, complete with two stairways, three tunnels and a hallway.


But it made me wonder, since my family seems to be the exception to actually enjoying being outside in actual winter weather, what we might have done instead of playing outside. Here's a list of alternative ways I might have had fun during a nasty snow storm:

• Pick up Calvin & Hobbes books and search out all of the "snow" themed cartoons - particularly the ones featuring Calvin making bizarre and hilarious snow art.
• Call up a series of paving companies and ask them what they would charge to do my driveway today - record the phone calls and post them online.
• Make up signs that say "Repent Sinners. The sky is falling" and head to the nearest open shopping mall and march around inside one of the entrances.
• Head out to a local hardward store as early as possible, buy up every single shovel, then stand near the empty shovel section and laugh at all those people who didn't plan ahead
• Run around in the driveway with a hair dryer trying to melt as much of the snow as possible before it hits the ground (note: long extension chord required for this)
• Call local news media (newspapers, radio and television) and inform them that your driveway and home are now officially closed to visitors due to inclement weather.
  

What are some other fun alternative things you can do to amuse yourself during a snow storm?

Da Count - Snow Days

I love my job, and I enjoy working. Yes, I'm one of THOSE annoying people. Damn, it sure makes life easier when you don't have to painfully drag yourself to work every single day, but instead look forward to it. I'm lucky that way, because the core of my job involves the selling of books. Something I can be truly passionate about.

That being said, today McMaster University is closed due to "inclement" weather -- in other words, it's a . . .

SNOW DAY!!!!

WOO!!! HOO!!!

Something I love even more than my job is spending time with my family. Francine and I are going to enjoy a cozy morning of relaxing, reading the newspaper, having coffee and a relaxing breakfast. Then, later on Alexander and I will be taking one of likely half a dozen trips outside to shovel the snow (one of his favourite things to do -- of course, once the snow is piled high enough, we'll get to rebuild the usual "Fort Alexander" snow fort that we like creating -- based on the 15 to 20 centimeters we're expecting, we'll likely be able to do something like that)

(Cartoon image from Bill Waterson's Calvin & Hobbes)

So this week's count is being able to enjoy the actual winter weather we're supposed to be getting, and, of course, getting more fun family time to enjoy it.

HNT - MP3

I know this was the theme from several weeks ago, but I couldn't help revisit it, particularly given my rediscovery of the joys of listening to books on tape -- allowing me the distinct pleasure of being able to meet my "resolution" of reading MORE books in 2008.

Right now I'm listening to the unabridged audio book version of John Irving's Until I Find You. I'm only about 4 chapters in, but, like most of Irving's writing, it's a good, solid story and I'm quite enjoying the characters.

And for those who don't get all that excited about books, there's a hidden nekkid treat in a click-thru.

Happy 50th Birthday Lego

Oh man - it's just like me to forget Lego's birthday yesterday. Sigh. I never mailed a card or even called; but I hope it's okay for me to wish Lego a Happy 50th birthday one day late!!!


The picture above is a Escher-style lego structure inspired by one of Escher's impossible stairway designs and created by Andrew Lipson. You can check out more of Andrew's cool lego creations here.

Hmm, Alexander is quite into Lego's junior larger style block Duplo -- but it's just a matter of a year or two before he's ready for the smaller sized bricks - oh man, I can't wait to go nuts buying tons and tons of Lego . . . er, I mean, it's great that I'll be able to help impart a proper sense of space and structural knowledge on my son by allowing him to play with this fun and educational toy.

Alas Poor Throat, I Coated It Well

Yesterday I recorded what will be episode 6 of the reality series on The Writing Show podcast with host Paula B. It was an interesting few days leading up to the interview, because on Friday and Saturday my voice -- hoarse and rough from a cold I got earlier in the week -- sounded pretty much like The Godfather.

It wasn't until Saturday afternoon when we were at the farmer's market in St. Jacobs that I purchased a giant bottle of Buckwheat honey and started swallowing tablespoon fulls of it every half an hour or so that my voice started to return close to normal.

I took my last swallow of honey immediately before recording the interview (which lasts about 45 minutes) and I only had to turn my microphone off about ten times or so to cough, blow my nose and clear my throat during that time -- of course, Paula and Alan do a phenomenal job of editing out such things, along with the usual uhms, ahs and ers that often accompany normal conversation. In fact, they edit so well, that I often come off sounding only a little bit like an idiot when I'm speaking.

Interestingly, Episode 3 of the reality series "Getting Publishing with Mark Leslie" (originally recorded in December 2006) hit the top 10 list of most downloaded episodes of the week.

I'm not sure why -- I'd like to think it's because of the handsome author shot of me holding my skull Yorick at a book signing in Toronto . . .

Da Count - Talk To The Finger

I recently finished reading Talk to the Hand by Lynne Truss, an overview of the rudeness of modern life and the ultimate collapse of society. She hilariously sums up "Six Good Reasons to Stay Home and Bolt the Door" in this book which parlays an important message in an offbeat and funny way.

After reading it, I felt a bit more annoyed at some of the things that bothered me about the lack of manners in today's society. No, I shouldn't say that -- it's not a lack of manners, it's more of an infusion of utter rudeness.

In her book, Truss reminds us that it just takes small things to make a positive difference, so I thought I'd focus this week's count on those people I encounter in my day to day life who aren't rude, but are instead considerate and offer a positive impact on society.

This week I'm counting . . .

• People who use the turn signal in their vehicle
• Colleagues who greet you with a "good morning" or "good afternoon" or at least a pleasant smile
• Folks who use words such as "thank you" "please" "excuse me" and "you're welcome"

Three small things that can make a huge difference in another person's day.

C'mon, I know that our society is overflowing with rudeness and nastiness -- but spend a moment today looking for those people who make those tiny almost invisible attempts at infusing the world with a little grace, a little kind spirit, a little something to make the day a bit brighter. Those little things will actually make a huge difference.

And while I'm counting, I'd like to pause and thank Lynne Truss for writing this book and illustrating the importance of such behaviour. Thanks Lynne.

HNT - RainyMark

Last Friday night my friend and fellow blogger RainyPete came over with his new video camera so that we could film a short spoof of my AOL Commercial as well as some fake interviews to send to Marcel Nunis for a movie project that he's putting together.

This is one of the pictures that Pete (a brilliantly gifted photographer with a zany sense of humour - check out some of his great photos on flickr) took with his camera right after the photo shoot.


It's always great to have a guest join in on HNT. Thanks Pete.

I Love Mark Leslie

When my sci-fi anthology North of Infinity II went to remainder status a couple of weeks ago on the chapters.indigo.ca website, I also did a quick search of Amazon.com to see if it had been remaindered in the U.S. as well. (Mosaic, the publisher, is based in Canada, but also has an office and distribution channel into the United States from a U.S. address)

While I was searching on Amazon (some might call it ego browsing), I found this interesting product - a simple plain white I Love Mark Leslie t-shirt.

It's very likely this t-shirt was created as a reference to the Mark Leslie who was the founding CEO of Veritas (unless, of course, there are secret chapters of my fan club located all over the place) or perhaps it's just some sort of automated dynamically generated result of searching an author's name on Amazon -- but in any case I thought it was an interesting find.

But doesn't this just make you want to go out and buy an "I love Mark Leslie" t-shirt -- or two, or three?