Friday, March 31, 2006

Random Bits & Pieces

  • Since I don’t have Tom Cruise’s wads of cash, where am I going to get the money to pay for bodyguards to protect me me from Xenu (or Zoltar or whoever that evil alien is in Scientologist doctrine)?
  • I love the “squirrel” scene in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, but still don’t understand why everyone is so terrified of such a little creature. A spider or hornet I can see, but a squirrel?
  • On the flip side, I completely understand the killer rabbit of Caerbannog scene in Monty Python & The Holy Grail. (I’ve seen Mister Bunny in a bad mood and experienced his "nasty big pointy teeth")
  • As I type this, I’m sitting on the GO train between two ladies who are reading the free daily newsrags and licking their fingers before turning each page. I still don’t get that. Yes, after touching things on a public transit system like door handles, the seats, etc. You might as well be licking the floor or seat you’re sitting in. I wonder if those ladies would get it if I put down my laptop and started licking the seat I was sitting in?
  • Raymond Sobeski, winner of Canada’s largest lottery ($30 million dollars), is complaining that the media is ‘vilifying’ him. How can I put this? Oh, I know. “Wah, f*ckin’ wah!” At least he can afford to pay for bodyguards to protect him from Xenu?

6 comments:

Sheri said...

I'd take winning a lottery and being called a villian any day of the week. I know 'they' say money can't buy happiness but jeez.... I'd certainly like to give it a good try!

Licking your fingers after touching anything on a public place just skeeves me out to no end. Thanks for that Mark.

The Village Idiot said...

while I appreciate your appreciation for all things python...now I have several folks clamouring for womens underwear...on my body!

Thank you very much

You arent Zoltar-Xenu in human form are you?

lecram sinun said...

You need bodyguards? LOL!

BTW... I've posted Part 2 of "Lies..."

Tish said...

*LOL* Mark! Since you don't have bodyguards to protect you from Xenu, be sure to snap a photo of him when he comes for you. hehehe. I expect you to upload it to Blogger during your final moments on Earth. ;)

lime said...

LMAO! I'll give you a cut rate for bodyguarding you from xenu. i just ha da self defense class i can handle it now, lol.

monty python, now i just knew there was another reason i liked you so much. i have raised my kids well, all three of them can recite that movie, hehehe

i wanna see you lick the seat of the go train. i would pay to see that:-))

Phain said...

I'll one-up you on the finger licker - bank tellers. Ever watch them go through a wad of cash, count, lick, count count count, lick....eeeew.